05 December 2011

Cancer or Sin

The first Words 'n Whiskey guest piece, this original poem was written by my good friend, Sorin Markov.

The foundational blocks of our world,
we must undo them, rotation, Tetris.
Until they fit in a more apt manner.
We must undo hate, redo race, rethink time.
For we are fractions of fractions of seconds
and microns of ancient star dust. Our bones,
our bodies, part of the origin, bottled at the source.
and yet our minds act conflicted,
dwelling on longevity, obsessed with death.
It is time
to consider how we can leave our mark
and counter the innate flaws of man.
Cancer or sin, call it what you want,
But unite to fight as one for one.
Not for a better tomorrow, but for a better now,
to make our precious seconds count.

02 December 2011

Behind Your Eyes

When I look into your eyes,
I'm looking past your eyes.
Your true colours revealed, exposed.
And they are beautiful.
Like the painted burning blue of the setting sun
or the speckled Muir mountain treeline,
what I see in you is natural, at ease.
It is the good that exists in each living soul
and makes me want to spend my days.
Each and every one of them.
Until my very last.
With you.

22 November 2011

Game Changer

Be my game changer and let's change the game.
We started by playing king and queen, now,
let us show the world what we're made of.
We'll speak our minds and mind nothing else.
As some will listen, and to others indefinitely,
our words will fall on deaf ears...
but, that doesn't change a thing, for there are many
ways to convey a message. And we will.
Guide me forward, stand by my side, equals in all.
We were put here not for convention, but for conviction.
As we ascend past the highest peaks and among the stars.
We will be the sailor's navigation and the ancient's calendar
As we rewrite the space and the time, and lay down the foundations,
for a better tomorrow. I believe in me, in you, in us, in our mission.
Be my game changer and let's change the game.
For better. Rethought horizons. Without limits.
Balance, moderation, peace.
And all the Love my heart can muster.

25 October 2011


I'm ready to be home now. Back to the places I know and the people I love. The fast lane is great, if only for awhile. This has been a vacation of vacations, but I've done it all out here on my own. I've made some amazing friends and set some lofty goals, but I want to get back to my roots. Living without a home base is no sort of living at all. I feel nomadic as of late, and I firmly believe it only emulates freedom. Fall into that rhythm enough though and, like anything else, one becomes dependent on getting those fixes. Home base offers a grounding, a constant, a return. A few weeks is good enough for me in any new place. I've left a little bit of me here and picked up a few new tricks along the way. It's all for the better, I assure you. At the same time, I need to feel the comforts of home. I'm ready.

17 October 2011

The Unknown

The unknown. Enough to drive one to madness. The decent into the unknown is a journey that most shy away from. They lock there fears of the unknown deep within the confines of their mind, where they remain safeguarded by the complex sorting that the brain employs. When those insecurities emerge, however, a great learning opportunity arrises. The fear of the unknown should, in fact, be embraced. While it is innate for man to fear the unknown, there must be an ongoing battle to combat that fear and come to understand it. With knowledge and understanding comes an increased perception and thereby increased level of existence. Our purpose on this Earth is not one of fiscal success, creating a perfect system, or even ensuring and promoting the continuation of the human race. All that makes us human continues. With or without us. The true purpose lies within the experiences. A greater understanding to be had from completing the proverbial checklist of happenings that drive us to absolve our fears and recognize the larger picture. The youthful and naive mind very carefully and very articulately can view the puzzle piece to exact specifications. Yet with age, wisdom and experience, the mind grows to understand the mind at large. That is to say, it comes to recognize the puzzle collectively, with all of its pieces, and how they intricately fit together on its respective plane of existence. So there is no reason to fear. The unknown is a beautiful place that should be explored with the most thorough of eyes. Each experience, both good and bad, lead the human mind to achieve the trust and most pure of successes--the recognition of experiences and their direct correlation to achieving enlightenment.

05 October 2011


You are my horizons,
The edge of my existence,
how I begin and end my every day.
You're as far as I can see,
The outer limits, my painted sunset.
My hope through the dark night
and the reassuring perpetual sunrise.
Consistent, yet diverse.
Stable, but never content.
Strive with me to change the world.
My dearest friend, my love of loves
go freely and forward to your destiny.
Forge your life, and if you will it,
come back and find me.
I won't soon turn my back,
but rather stand by yours.
If you falter, then you falter,
but I'll always be there to help you up.
I'm so happy for the time we've had,
and for showing me how to care.
My eternal gratitude, my eternal love.
In whatever form of that love you'll have.
I'll stay truly yours.

21 September 2011


Lost in the woods.
No compass, no direction.
Serenity. Take it all in.
Find the roots
that stabilize;
Find the routes
Earthen brethren
take solace in the sun
through tattered treetops.
A leaky roof; frail canopy.
Falter not at nightfall,
but make camp, make fire.
Let it reflect in your eyes,
and never burn out. Not until
the sun can pick up from
where it left off.
Lightness commands the soul
so let it fly freely,
through trees and above
just as lost as can be,
perfectly so.

20 September 2011


I grow weary in anticipation of the days looming ahead. So much potential. And it might not all be good. There is much uncertainty in the decisions of my future. I try not to worry so much about what hasn't happened, for there isn't much I can do to change that which has yet to make itself apparent. It just seems like there is something missing. Considerations of gadgetry and whimsical purchases occupy my mind as a distraction to more severe underlying concerns. Patience is not one of my strong suits, and, in conjunction with great curiosity, an eagerness to know what lies ahead slowly tolls on my thoughts. For each step towards true adulthood, I find myself confronted with an equal set of problems to endure or conquer. I know that this will be the case for the rest of my life. It just makes me sad to know that these upcoming years are what so often break the spirits of my elders. I hope that I can overcome the difficulties without great hardship. Yet, at the same time, I desire the difficult times to harden my heart against the tribulations. I don't want to lose affectation towards others in the process, but I want to function as a pillar of stability to those who otherwise cannot find a means to stand on their own. Something that particularly is bothering me is how much I've said the word, "I" in this writing. Surely my readers want to listen to me talk about me. That aside, there is a lot more ahead. I'm not planning on dying any day soon here, and I'm sure there are bound to be some serious burns before I can handle the heat. Time will tell, no need to lose sleep over it. Writing on the other hand? Always worth losing a few extra minutes before throwing in the towel and getting some shuteye. Goodnight to all. My most earnest and heartfelt gratitude and best wishes are extended to each and every one of you.

For Now,

17 September 2011

Wishful Thinking

"The integrity of a man is tested by how he proceeds when he knows failure is imminent." -Anonymous

The first summer night.
House parties and porches.
Cigarettes and swingsets.
Distance. Oh, the distance.
Drunken stupor and words.
Honest words spewed as fast
as the moving hands of the clock.
Sunrise, sunset, rinse, repeat.
Stumbling into work
Goofy smile, ruffled hair.
Trips. So many trips.
To so many places.
The East, The North, Outer Space.
Growing up?
Sonic bliss.
Moments of pure ecstasy.
Tents, bears, fires, tranquility.
Anxiety. Unspoken words.
Shooting stars and painted skies.
That sunset. Ego death.
Souls touching the void.
Skinny-dipping day and night.
Cliffs and Eagles.
Miles and miles, gone and to go.
Well-traveled, well-read.
Stress and work
Rest and relaxation.
So much learning.
Pirates. Bassheads. Star-crossed.
So close. So close. So close.
This boulevard of memories.
The best I ever had.

16 September 2011


A wise friend once gave me a sound piece of advice. He said to me, "No matter what you do, never try to make something be anything other than what it is."

Well, what is it?
Not for an effort to change it,
but rather to preserve it.

Dare you impart on your journey
and while we do part ways
Depart with smiles and memories
To not forget while apart.

Go find what you're looking for
And be happy.
I'll be here, waiting, waiting, waiting.
And be patient.
As my whimsical dreams blur with waking life,
And I wonder.
How you're doing. How are you doing?

A spirit that's free is seeking to be
unbound from the chains of the living.
May you fly back to me, surely you'll see
The err of my feeling misgiving.
When I look to the sky above and seek
My destination among the stars
I hope you've landed there too,
So that your dreams came true,
To where you've achieved your peak,
And me to stay on my pars.

So I'll follow his advice and let it be what it is. It keeps me wary of the past, honest in the now and sane from the future.

13 September 2011


Ambient delirium
weak end, weekend
striving forward
yet take me back
to sunsets and shorelines
to the grandiose Up North.
Let the stars permeate
like pinholes in the
black blanketed night.
Bring to life the stories
of our Grandfathers
of adventures
and camaraderie
of new beginnings
remembrance, let history
be doomed to repeat
only the highs.
Find me by the bonfire
and see the reflection
of my soul resonate
from the embers I made.
Take me back. Forget me not.
Summer. Summer.
Long days and perfect nights.

12 September 2011

The Poet's Journey

The Poet's journey is one of accomplishing in words that which can only be otherwise elicited by art or music. It is to tap into the larger portions of the spectrum and touch the cosmos. Loosely must the poet define the limitless love and realm of emotion through constrained vocabulary. Our relationship is one with words. Our souls rest with the notion that we've connected with another, no matter if only for the briefest of moments. That fraction of intertwined essence brings with it ubiquitous happiness and the single greatest commodity known to man. The Poet knows of tricks of sentimentality, but also knows to avoid such, as the warmth of emotion cannot be feigned. Each word of the poem resonates with similar beauty to a piano chord. Carefully chosen and properly executed. Poetry bridges the broad gap between words and song, and as such prove to be a most intriguing and appealing form of speech. Eloquence abounds from the inspired mind; a translator's dream come true. To speak well is to understand and to understand poetry is to be naïve. It is an unabashed work of another soul. Yet, to omit the effort of trying and understanding would be the greatest failure to the poet. For what he understands is that his world depends on each of us attempting to understand one another and landing somewhere close enough to attribute it meaning.

06 September 2011

Death of Self

Life was never about you
or you or you or you either.
The Soul Purpose is to observe
a far more grandiose happening.
Mere specks of stardust comprise
our existence in this plane.
So interesting the perception
of importance and self-preservation.
I seek out the death of my ego
in favor of a more precise fit
into the schema of the universe.
We are merely here to watch
and progress. There is no self.
So be kind, curious and stubborn,
sit back and enjoy the ride,
for that which you can control
you can change indefinitely.
And that of which you cannot?
Well, you cannot, so do not
waste your time worrying.
Just be.

Good Life Advice

It isn't about the money. Nor the fame or the prestige. Happiness and success are measured by freedom. The inability to go and do what one wants becomes the biggest milestone to overcome. The world in which we live makes it difficult to attain true freedom. As life goes on, people accumulate debts and obligations which dictate the tempo of their lives. Never forget the end game, the goals of your youth, and the means of accomplishing those goals. Never be too complacent with any aspect of your life and always strive to be a little bit better at something. Don't let the years pass and wonder what happened to your life, how you suddenly became a 30-something and are still working that same job you started post-graduation.

Do what you like. Find a way to be happy. Don't stress about anything. Taking a laissez-faire approach, albeit risky, can work surprisingly well. The world makes it very difficult to fail if you are determined to work hard and keep your eyes open. Laziness is the greatest epidemic of our times. A general lack of caring and motivation has carried us into our darkest days. Hard work will often times overcome raw talent, mostly because the talented folk don't feel as though they need to work as hard to achieve. Yet, when they reach their plateau, the determined will be able to fly higher and reach a much greater potential.

Surround yourself with the people you care about. Don't let them go and always fight for those bonds. They're the best reassurance during difficult times. Leave no room for the unstable and abusive. At the same time, be sympathetic to their cause, because you never know what somebody else has been through to shape their experiences. Keep an open mind to the opinions of others. While many will act ignorant, there is often a lesson to be learned from their beliefs. Let those you care about know how you feel and never speak down to anybody. You never know if they're going to be the next person to interview you, the brother of your future partner or otherwise a potential friend.

Always, always, always be honest. You can massage the truth, but never lie. Untruths quickly snowball in complexity. Furthermore, it is bad karma and makes you look like an asshole if you get caught. If you ever do something wrong, apologize for it before being criticized. It shows integrity on your part, and may spark some sympathy from the other party.

Be sure to always own up to your debts. If you owe somebody, find a way to make it up to them. Better yet is avoid owing anything to anybody. Square up and don't get in a situation where you can't afford to pay up immediately. Taking money out on credit leads to a long and dark road.

Most importantly of all, don't ever give up on changing the world. If there is something you disagree with, speak out about it. Be a voice of reason and inspire others to do the same. Respect the opinions of others, but humbly disagree. Do your research and learn the counterpoints of your argument. Stick up for the underdogs and be a pillar of stability in an otherwise unstable world. Never stop fighting--for peace, for love, for freedom.

30 August 2011


Song of my life: The Album Leaf - Twentytwofourteen

It's no secret that this is my favorite song ever. If you've spent any amount of time with me, I've probably mentioned it half a million times. Sorry for that. Not really, though. I'm proud to admit that such a beautiful song could be MY favorite. I wrote this poem to accompany it. I feel as though I've done this before, so bear with me if that is the case. However, I'm always becoming a more experienced writer, so this one may be way better. Maybe not. Maybe I didn't do this before and it just seems so familiar because it makes a whole lot of sense to do...

I observe on this pensive morning
the lingering fog, low-lying clouds
that act as a blanket to the dew-soaked
ground, bushes and trees. Neverending
forests steal my gaze as I reminisce;
of times, not better or worse, but different.
How the world has changed in these short
years, only a handful of decades. Yet,
in the grand scheme of this universe,
it is only a sliver. A humbling thought.
So much exists before us and behind us,
though all that can matter is what happens now.
The decisions we make will have lasting effects
And I consider how I can best fit into this puzzle
of fog-ridden forests and cool morning air.
Tranquility. Serenity. Solitude.
Alone, yet very much together.
Proximity does not dictate camaraderie.
As the sun begins to peak above the canopy
and warm my thoughtful mind,
I feel at home with the world,
one with nature, an integral part of
a much larger purpose. It's going to be
a most wonderful and promising day.

27 August 2011

An Open Letter to Incoming Freshman

These next four years will change you. There will be a lot about you that will be unfaltering. Nevertheless, expect to open your eyes further than you'd ever previously expected. Your capacity to know the logistics of the world will expand. A lot of it will be depressing, yet the opportunity you'll be providing for yourself will open new doors. That opportunity is what you make it. You can commit the next 12 years to a career in medicine, 7 to be a lawyer, or 6 to be a teacher. The world demands more than four these days. Four years, one piece of paper and a whole metric shit ton of memories and experiences that can't be attributed a fair value. Personally, I changed my career path about six times before I settled on a life of writing. At one point I was even set to attend law school, before setting myself down and having a serious contemplation session. The end result? I realized I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I was doing it for the prestige and money rather than my passion. I would have made a damn fine lawyer, but I wouldn't have felt like I was using my life appropriately.

The most important thing to take away from those experiences is to do what you love. Find something you are passionate about. Let me repeat. Find something YOU are passionate about. Never mind whether or not mom and dad want you to be a doctor. If you're going to invest this time, be sure that it is something you care about. You don't have to decide from the moment you get into college. You have a few years of testing the waters before you come up with some inkling of an idea. It's your future. Better to spend it on something you care about rather than what will be safe for mom and dad.

That leads me to my second point: value what your mom and dad say. They are the basis of why you are the way you are. Wanted or not, they're the ones who instilled some sort of belief system in your life, whatever that may be. Assuming they did something right with you, you're probably either a bit more like them than you care to admit (or otherwise recognize) OR you aren't a thing like them and you've carefully learned from their mistakes and chosen to prosper for yourself instead of linger on the setback. Whether they can afford to back you financially, they are a pillar of support in your life. Don't be afraid to approach them with problems, show them the same respect you'd like to be treated with, and don't ever consider lying to them. Honesty, especially so with parents, will lead to a much more fruitful relationship.

College offers the unique opportunity to try many new things. Don't be too engrained in your current life. Go out and meet new people. Make mistakes. Try getting a companion or two. Don't sulk when you fail. Figure out what you did wrong and don't do it again. People are feeble and everybody is different. If it all worked out the first time, the world would be boring and suck a great deal. Mistakes are pockets of hidden beauty. A subtle reminder that we are, in fact, human and our biggest flaw and, arguably, most humbling trait, is that we err.

Likewise, forgive those who err towards you. Everybody is looking for a second chance. Be harsh but fair. People can learn, but only if you are willing to teach and work with them. Second chances ease the pain and can often times be prosperous for both parties. Karma works both ways.

Friends will come and friends will go. You may begin to notice a distancing between you and your high school classmates. That is bound to happen. The one or two that mattered the most will stick by your side to the bitter end. They'll make themselves apparent, whether it be in a time of need or a reunion following a lengthy hiatus. Don't try to hard to make something failing work. People grow in different directions. That said, don't be ruthless. Try to understand where everybody is coming from. There is a lot of cause for dismissal between friends, but don't go looking for reasons, and don't be afraid if you lose some along the way. It may hurt, but there will always be somebody new to fill the void left behind by an old friend severing ties.

There is a dark side to life that becomes available in college. Something is to be said about the notion that nobody is watching you. What you do with that time is your own decision. Don't succumb to peer pressure, but if there is anything you were ever curious about, do it now. Do it well and don't get caught. Don't be afraid to try something new, but don't be weak enough to fall for something stupid. Use these opportunities to expand your minds. Someday, you'll be parents, and there will be no worse feeling than being caught off guard by something your child did that you know NOTHING about. The preliminary research can be enjoyable. In addition, the post-graduate search for a home, career or partner can greatly obscure the ability to experiment. Don't get me wrong though. These are the years that you will be responsible for your actions and accordingly have to suffer the repercussions. I can attest to that when I nearly lost my scholarship freshman year. There simply aren't enough hours in the day for school, friends, drinking, sports, eating, sleeping and so on. Have fun but find the balance.

It is important to always pay off your debts. I worked my ass off these last few years to pay for my education, housing, occasional girlfriend and lifestyle. Working almost full-time with a full load of coursework was no easy task. What became apparent right away was the need to manage my time better. It took me awhile, but I learned the value of my time and made sure to use it well. College is a long four years, which are comprised of many late nights, lots of headaches, and more compromise than I'll ever know how to accurately convey. It is important to always work off your debt. Those shackles will bind your ability to move forward and may eventually hinder your progress in the world. One of the reasons I turned down law school was because I couldn't stand the notion of owing $100,000+ dollars to somebody else. Sure I could spend the next few years working it off, but I haven't owed money to anybody thus far, why would I deviate from that lofty goal if I could help it? A modest and honest living with no debt is much preferable and conducive to happiness to one in which you're constantly looking over your shoulder for the debt collector and spending your days writing checks to people you owe for your success.

There are so many people from every walk of life here in college. Be sensitive to their situation. You don't know what they've been through to get there. Likewise, understand that they may not understand things you've been through. I came from a very small town, and spend my first year meeting people from all over the world. They had cultural differences, interesting stories, new foods and at times those aspects meshed, while other times caused conflict. I got in arguments about religion, cultural phenomena, and the prevalence of racism in a world I otherwise considered post-race. Boy, was I wrong about that. I learned to keep my ears open and hear what they were saying. It made me consider a lot—about the town in which I was raised, about how much I still had to learn and the way in which we are colored by our experiences. I clearly had much to learn and that still very much is the case.

Never stop learning. Push forward even when your education is done. Always move forward; just don't worry about doing it quickly. Speed is cause for error. Efficiency and speed are not the same thing. Always aim for efficiency. Don't be arrogant, unless you have just cause for your abilities. Even then, keep your big head to yourself. There will likely always be somebody a little bit better. No matter if that is the case, talent doesn't always outdo hard work. You may not be the most talented, but if you work the hardest, people will take notice. Hard work is learned and what you reap is earned. Talent is innate, but does not dictate success by any means.

With that parting sliver of wisdom I've encountered over the past few years, know that these are mere suggestions. If you understand them, you'll also understand that there is an equal and completely reasonable counterargument to each thing. The importance then becomes taking something away from this. Go out into the world and make a difference. Stand up for your beliefs and smile to everybody. Keep your head up and always push forward. Learn from your mistakes and carry on. In four years, regurgitate some of this information, as changed and influenced by your own experiences. I'd wish you luck, but you're all more than capable of success than to rely on something as trivial as luck. Go make your own.


Things that are Beautiful

1. The color of dusk

There is something striking to be said about the color of dusk. Most importantly, it isn't a static color, but exists on many different planes. Over a body of water, dusk is a surreal blend of purples, pinks, reds and oranges. The best part about that is that it isn't a definitive color or boundary. They just melt together. To figure out a specific point where the transition occurs would be in a lengthy and impractical process.

On other occasions, such as that of a landlocked locale, the sunset is a very defined orange to blue transition. The representation of the sun's warmth to the cooler evening air depicted by color is almost synesthetic. It is a humbling sight and one of the most aesthetically pleasing that I can conjure. It is representative of the simultaneous beginning and end; completing the circle and thereby providing closure and opportunity.

2. That which is known, but undefined

One thing I find particularly exhilarating is when two people share a thought without verbally stating it. It is highly anticipatory while captivating in the notion that both people are sharing on their own accord, without the pressures or coloration of another's beliefs. It is the quintessential and most genuine depiction of two unbiased thoughts crossing paths. It is unparalleled and natural. Furthermore, it is shared. It is a little glimpse into the underlying notion that we aren't, in fact, alone. Rather, our existence, our beliefs and thoughts, while seemingly our own, can at certain junctions slip into the realm of others. There can be no closer bond than sharing an unspoken thought, thereby making it one of the most important interactions in human existence.

3. The five-second relationship

What's more perfect than an unflawed relationship? That fleeting glance and smile combination that occurs for mere seconds with the occasional passerby on the streets. Both you and the other party know that there is a spark there. Some people have falsely attributed it to love at first sight, but I'd rather suggest that what really is at work here is intricately tied in with my previous notion of shared thoughts. Both people understand the attraction and appeal of one another. Without speaking a word, the circumstances prevent any further interaction. The time just isn't right, but other than that, those few seconds of unbridled knowing impose the belief that each person has found one another, shared a few of their precious seconds with one another and then moved on with the mutual agreement that it was the right thing to do. In essence, it is the most short-lived but flawless relationship you can encounter and those who experience it from time-to-time can vouch for the wonderful feeling it instills in the individual.

To be continued...

26 August 2011

The Interrogator

"Love is a continual interrogation. I don't know of a better definition of love."
— Milan Kundera

Ask the right questions at all the right times
and occasionally when the time isn't right at all;
learn from one another and be better for it.
It's all for you to figure out answers
there is no more at stake than that.
Guantanamo? They're doing it wrong.
A good interrogation is a relationship
where the weight is distributed.
Imbalance may make things exciting,
but there is no way to fizzle out faster
than to burn off everything at breakneck speeds.
That's what kills stars.
Keep things on an even keel and also
let them be what they are. Names aren't important
in the interrogation room. It's just two people.
You'll get your knowledge and, in turn, they'll
understand you all the better for what's transpired.
Just hope you aren't intolerable.
Then you might as well work at Guantanamo.
The path to success is a long one, and many will
bend before they break. Others still will stay stoic
untrusting and cold to the process.
Keep strong and know the endgame.
You have to falter before you can rise.

24 August 2011

Coffee Shop Love

There is something romantic of a coffee shop,
in the aromas, the unspoken work ethic
and the ability of people to reach for goals
It is a commonplace, of meeting and reunion,
of fleeting glances and bated breath.
It is a place for intro- and extroversion.
Where people seek escapism between the pages
or yearn to escape their own grim reality
in the eyes of another.
Others still come solely with the intent to recharge
albeit artificially, but nevertheless pushing forward.
Coffee shops are a place of tips, for the workers
and also those willing to listen to what's being said.
It is a place of relaxation and simultaneous pressure
Calmness in the ability to spend hours without remorse
while competing with the surroundings to achieve.
I watch the cars and people pass, the bus routes rotate
the cyclical nature of all, from suits to cyclists.
It is beautiful to note these patterns emerge
and to write freely, without consequence,
to spark up a conversation with any who'll have it.
Yes, there is something romantic about a coffee shop,
A place to get lost.
A place to be found.

23 August 2011

A Time for Change

Nirvana. Look within and find yourself. Push past the layers and find the unbiased, uncolored-yet-painted picture of who you really are. Ego death. Surpress it and prosper. It won't be easy, so take baby steps. Ease into your new skin. There will be a lot you don't like. Don't cheat on that. Learn from it. Grow. Thrive. It is only once you can see you for who you really are, without rationalizing your existence and flaws that you can push forward to the realm of true happiness and success. It may be a lifelong journey for some and others still will cut corners. No matter the means, get to the end. That is to say, the end of that chapter. No, not even a chapter. The prologue. Past is prologue. Get to the story itself. Who are you and who you want to be don't have to be so different. Engross yourself in the world. Blur the line between you and that which exists around you. 

There is a lot to fix. You may be one voice, one person with one set of thoughts. But the ability for one to become many and the crowd to take solace in the truthfulness of your words, the beliefs you stand behind with conviction. Inaction is the only obstacle. Get the ball rolling and let the momentum do some of the work.

The society in which we have been brought up has done a damn good job of trying to control things. It isn't for malicious intent, but rather for the safety of the masses. Somewhere along the way, the path taken was one that didn't trust billions of individuals to act freely. Safeguards were put in place and now kids grow up in a world where they don't question existence or reason, but rather do what they're told or otherwise find themselves punished. It is tangled, it is complex. I don't think there is an easy solution. That said, I do think it is important that somebody take the reigns and speak up to say what so many suppressed people are thinking.

These are tumultuous times. Our generation has been left to clean up messes and address long-building challenges. There is no better time than now to speak up and begin working towards a better world. We are the future, we are the collective voice. If we don't act soon, or even continue down the path that has been set before us, then in all likelihood our beautiful race is doomed. I've seen the best and worst in humanity. Our potential for both is polarizing. Atrocities happen, as do such powerful acts of teamwork and camaraderie. 

Our President promised us change, and then fell victim to those aforementioned safeguards. People are inherently afraid of change. They don't like what they don't know. The fear of change is reasonable, yet one that has created such problems as blatant racism, corruption in the government in which we rely, and  safety operating within "the bubble". We need a leader who doesn't fear that change, who knows that it can be embraced and that the most powerful trait of the people is that of adapting. We are an adaptive, intelligent race. We should not fear change, but welcome it with open arms. We should not fall victim to the temptation of riches and power, but rather create power by working together to fight the safeguards.

Listen carefully to what your mind is saying. Once you hear it, then do not fear standing up for those beliefs. In a world where originality is difficult to find, you can take assuagement in the notion that there likely is another nearby who agrees with what you believe. It just requires the commitment to speak up, as I'm very much doing here today.

The future is as uncertain as ever. It is time to create a new web, and new safeguards. One that will protect our planet, our race and our rights. We need to reboot the system. Let this be a public calling to anybody who agrees. The old system is slowly failing us and each day that we lack the ability to address it at large is going to make the path that much more difficult. If there ever was a paramount time to wage a war against the system and create a new set of rules, regulations and policies, it is now. Do not fear. I am merely one man speaking my mind, but I'm willing to stake my existence on the notion that others out there feel the same way. Let us unite now and pave a peaceful, more stable future for those who will come after us.


10 August 2011

Eye of the Beholder

The expansion of one's mind is the most wondrous growth
whatever the vessel of achieving such vision
and the perception of the world for what it truly is
in both its beauty and doom, at least we know it lives
for what lives that doesn't eventually move on?
Much has changed in the way I see
as the broad continents host our people,
a people of potential, for the best and the worst
to consume and protect, as we precariously teeter.
It is fascinating the way in which I've become aware,
as if I were asleep or looking through a fog.
Now I've discovered the veil lifted and gone
and I know that I can do anything
or happily move on trying my best.
If I happen to run into any obstacles on the way?
I just trip and don't fall.

05 August 2011

Re-Collective Conscious

We are all kindred bits of knowledge and energy
Uncatagorized. Unfathomable. Grandiose.
Single-minded we are small, but collectively
Unconquerable. Beauty exists in the small pockets
That comprise our wandering life force.
As we seek out how to strengthen and bolster
And slowly but surely as the universe itself
We attract until we reunite as One.

02 August 2011

The World is Yours

Your bokeh eyes distantly sparkle
as they so carefully observe the
equally blurry world around us.
Seeking, seeking, seeking
out the best in humanity but
skeptical, for power breaks resolve
especially when unchecked.
Use your free-spirited voice to guide
the lives of those you pass each day
back to their homes, to love, to virtue,
to happiness, equality and contentment.
Let that voice ring aloud,
and maybe they will listen,
and maybe they won't.
Yet, a quiet voice sends no vibrations
in the already chaotic air.
Your hands are delicate, but experienced
and have seen much wear from these
wearing times. They move with such care,
diligence and purpose. Deliberately so.
Each mark a story marking gained knowledge
that has shaped the mind, spirit and soul.
You have much work left to do,
but I have no doubts as to your ability.
You remain unparalleled in potential,
so go out into the big broad world and
find a way to tap it. Manifest your talent
into a game-changer. The world is yours.

25 July 2011

Ambitions of a Better Tomorrow

There may be inner peace, but what of it collectively?
Where do we find ourselves in ten, twenty, one hundred years?
And I ponder the means to fight the thoughts of not just several,
but several billion. A severe change is needed in the perception
of our people. Condemning and labeling the minor radicals,
the hippies, the revolutionaries. Gone are the world-shakers
and game-changers. Gone is the Enlightenment, as we plummet
back to the darkest of ages. Incandescence is no substitute for the sun.
How long can we survive on artificiality, and how long will we suck
from the drying teet of our planet? The once fertile crescent now
as cracked as the brainwashed minds, controlled by the leaders,
the parents, the politicians, the Pope and the powerful.
Medicating the youth into senseless submission. Raspy, almost gone
is our voice. Some seek to squash out the questioning for a lack of
conformity. Stay normal, world, and we will soon have upon us
the problems to address, left behind by careless corporate giants.
Where is David? Even if he came forward, there are far too many
Goliaths for one man. So he waits in hiding, patient, for an assemblage
and a rekindling of the fire's of creativity, love and prosperity.
But not a moment sooner shall he show his face. For fear of retribution
from the forces that currently guide the wheel of life. It is disheartening
and disappointing to find ourselves in such troubled times.
The fire in my eyes is not yet out, and though I do not know the way
nor the means to make it happen, I dare not bet on any except
the future. It pains me to look forward down the street currently paved
before us. But there are roads less travelled. And paths for the making.
That will lead to oasis and ocean, to new depths and highs,
to uncharted territory and sensible practice between man and resource.
This change will not happen today, but may begin here. A tree's broad trunk
begins at nothing more than a seed. It is our time now.

22 July 2011

The Akashic Records

Song of the Moment - Brian Eno - An Ending (Ascent)

I awaken at peace, with myself and the world,
the sun warming my slow-beating heart.
Breathing life into the oncoming day and I know,
it will consist of such unanticipated substance.
And when I roll over, untangling the sheets,
still reverberating my absorbed heat,
I see you there, whether you are or not,
tranquil and porcelain, gracefully at rest,
while your mind wanders on in its vast creation.
I ponder where you may be going, and have gone.
In fields of flora or atop a cascading falls,
its mist easing your everyday life.
For you are different than the rest,
in how your mind operates, in that which you believe,
in the harmonics and chords, finding balance with Earth,
and the sky and the stars, the celestial seraph.
I take comfort in believing, in the future,
our respective endeavors, wherever they may take us,
and the solace in knowing, how you've proven a friend
until my very last breath, though certainly not our end,
but rather of human's construct of time, of physical being.
So I'll see you here, I'll see you there, on the other side,
where the grass is equally green, the glass completely full,
and our experiences drive the wisdom that transcends all else.
So that it may be bestowed upon any who call upon it,
as I know I can call on you, and you as well to me.

21 July 2011


Stars up, stars down,
another night has come and gone
and wide-eyed I've spent it awake
seeking out just a little more.
More gain with more time and
more life with more gain in
a world where sleep is for the gone—
those who have moved on elsewhere.
So fight the night til sunrise light and bask
in the warmth of a completed day,
Riding out the hard times, a goal reached
for completing something is half the battle.
Be persistent—in heart, in wants, in happiness
to self-preserve and persevere.
For each dotted star marks a soul who has not
made it as far as we can tonight.
Good morning and what a good morning it is
as I rise in awe with the brightest star.
We are One, collective conscious
And I feel the souls around me,
The life force that embraces and carries
Each of us along, together.
Through hours of time otherwise seeming wasted,
To those who don't see the beauty of Moment.
So reach out and grow, as we regain
That which we lost. Return to the origin
The Well, tapped and cyclical. Replenishing.
Refreshing. I can feel a sliver of me in each
Of those around me. As we share experience.
And grow as humans, as what we are before we
Achieve physical form. How amazing life is outside
The scope of our time on Earth.
The Beautiful Dilemma. Life during or surrounding?
All are important. All are important.

15 July 2011

The Soul Cartographer

Ascension through the Mind's Eye.
Once found, an unsealable sight
that guides the Path unbeknownst
to most. On comets we sail through
nebula and galaxy to sister worlds.
Divinity Measured by Time,
stretched by the cosmic fabrics,
in which we lay
and in our dream-state wonder.
Only to discover that the universe
is fabricated by our mind
and the exploration
is taking place from within.

Life of a Star

Consider the sky effectively painted
by the sun, our star, burning the clouds
as it lies to rest in its cradle.
Majestic purples and royal reds
and the sounds of the world muted.
The wind calms and dusk settles
and the air cools as our lunar friend
watches from above,
as we watch all from the Earth below.
Beautifully minuscule. With limiting bodies
and minds more vast than the cosmos we seek.
Our souls ablaze in lieu of our star.

25 June 2011


Sometimes I wonder where my brain has gone?
As I gaze off into something that doesn't belong
A wall is a wall, but there is something more
When I look through the ceiling or into the floor.
The parallel world overlaid on our own
With different laws to abide and be shown.
I tap into this actualization, enlightened as one
Until I awake and know that my dream is done
It cannot be pinpointed or known for sure,
But takes some belief to take on that tour.
It brings peace of mind to know it is there
Yet simply can be too much to bear.

22 June 2011

On a Whim

I don't feel much like thinking tonight,
But rather it's a time to act on instinct,
And to feel what seems right.
No repercussions. Probably solitude.
As I wonder where you wander in dreams.
Sipping cheap beer on the porch,
Talking endlessly against the solstice sun,
About things that matter so much collectively,
But so little until it fits in our puzzle.
Decisions, decisions.
The gift children envy. The curse that burdens the rest.
Do what's right or do what teaches.
Do nothing sometimes.
I miss much and regret nothing.
I've loved and lost. And won.
And even when I don't, I find a way.
Until the day I breathe no more.
And live, live, live.

14 June 2011


And so it seems, I find myself here again and again,
never too far away and always close to my heart.
I often ponder the implications of settling,
where I know I can make myself be happy
with what I've got. But is it enough?
Is it ever enough? Am I selfish for wanting more?
Especially when I know the capacity for more is out there.
I held it once, but I let it slip. Now I lay sleepless,
knowing what's out there, what could be.
I'm not bitter, I'm not helpless.
I know it in all likelihood cannot be,
yet I still hold onto a thread.
The thread you dangle in front of me,
too thin to hang on. At least for now.
That thread obscures my vision, blurs everything else
around me. I'm ok with it for now.
I don't think it is punishment, even if I do deserve it.
And I'll unspool it for as long as it unravels
coming back to it at the expense of anybody
who would otherwise get in the way. Sorry in advance.
If and when that time comes back our way,
I don't know that I won't be in such limbo,
hurting the innocent, defending myself, proving to you
that I didn't go too far in the meantime.
Would I rather live alone and write of it,
or make somebody else happy and trap the demons
that haunt me everytime I leave your house, hang up the phone,
turn away and not know when I'll see you again?
You torture my soul, but I'll allow it.
Wanting me there in some ways, but only in some.
If that is the extent of us, I will take it.
Because I dare not choose when I don't have choice.
Someday. Someday. Someday.
I'll wait for you.

07 June 2011

Things I've Learned

Hold onto your dreams even though they may be cryptic.

So often our dreams are skewed by the elders trying to relive the achievements they put off or neglected through the years.

The sky, the water, the land. It belongs to no one.

Community is at the core of what drives our world. Interaction between people. While time alone is vital for reflection and growth, that growth cannot be achieved without a little help from our friends.

Most of the time, it is better to let people make mistakes. Those mistakes function as learning opportunities. Not to mention that some things can't be taught, but rather are bound to experience.

If you want something, find a way to get it.

Patience is a virtue, but it sucks. All the puzzle pieces eventually end up fitting in some way or another. They may not look it initially, but that's the beauty of how our perception of the world changes as time goes on.

Parents are usually right about everything. It may seem counterintuitive, it may seem like they're hindering happiness, and it may seem like they're under different beliefs of how the world works, but they have been through a lot more than you or me.

Everything in moderation--including moderation.

Live every moment as extreme as you can, because who knows when there won't be a next moment.

Try everything at least once. The experience is worth the penalty...usually.

Talk less, say more.

Pick your battles wisely.

Go for a walk once a day and think about your goals.

Alcohol is expensive, makes you stupid, and there are ways to have fun without it. That being said, I enjoy a few drinks with friends and some of my best and worst college memories involve parties. Those memories are great because of the company though and not the bottle.

You can have a girlfriend and a best friend who is a girl. Ideally they should be the same person, but they can both exist respectively.

There is always more money to be made.

The best things happen when you don't try too hard. Let things take their course, don't add unnecessary pressure to something and just enjoy everything for what it is. The rest will do its work as it deems itself necessary.

Electronic music is the future.

Speaking of music, appreciate it and know what transformative and therapeutic properties it possesses. Music addresses the biggest problem with words: their limitation.

That is all for now. Thank you for reading.


When the morning lark meets the night owl,
That's where I am, the transitory persona
splitting the difference between fair and right,
Because as those without money may vouch...

Good luck to each of you, I love you all


04 June 2011


I exist outside of this time here,
a completely different world,
to which I do not seem to belong.
It thrives on its own rules, its own dynamic.
I can see the outsider appeal, but only
skin deep. Topical, without reason,
or rather its own iteration of reason.
But when an outsider breaches its shores
they have to play by a new set of rules
or be banished to the hellish inferno
that exists in ignorance and naivety.
Embrace what is there or perish,
because these people are cannibalistic
if you try and forge any opinion but their own.
It is a bubble, a place of safety to its citizens
a place of sanctity and solitude from an otherwise
uncertain world. I'm sorry, but I just think we come
from different worlds. I like uncertainty. I was raised
to learn how and take criticism, but ironically enough
that world is gone, a tumbleweed in place of the ideals
that once drove this place. Sorry for living the old way,
but it's what I know, it's what I know. We made me this way,
it's not solely your fault or mine, but don't try and pretend
that it didn't happen.

03 June 2011

Epic Summer

This one goes out to all of my friends. You know who you are and I love you all.

A curious thing are the lives we live,
and what it means to share experience,
so as it goes, we find ourselves in each other.
On late night porches, polishing off bottles,
and time's arms tired from flying ever so,
the sun rises and sets, the East and West
a perpetual spotlight queuing another day
for us to fully take advantage.
I've traded my health, my sanity, and balance
for youth and memories which we're forming
never struggling, yet I won't soon let go
to what we are doing, what are we doing?
One day off, for six days on, that's the hard work
our parents instilled in us. So this is a toast,
to each and every one of you, to me, to us.
We've come this far and we aren't stopping now,
so let the glass remain always more than half full.
The best is yet to come.

31 May 2011


It is dark.
It is dark.
It is dark.
Even a torch would do the trick,
a single light in the consuming dark.
One versus infinity and light always wins--
for we fear what we cannot see,
and when the imagination takes the reigns
it fills in the blanks and creates what we fear,
what we despise. Long shadows and curly fingers
dictate the worst, helpless to regain control,
when down for the count, seeking out light,
only to be tortured by its elusive grasp
or burnt by its immense power, either way,
I'm trying to find that light that rests within.
Outside the window I see the setting light
and inevitably ahead the long, dark, night.
It is dark.

23 May 2011


It's been awhile, readers! I've been writing a short story and continuing the preliminary work on the novel. However, I can't deprive you guys for too long. So here is something to consider...

Forget about the self and suspend the ego
because life in the dark is boring and dark
and recognize the beauty and difficulty
in the existence of brothers and sisters
of friends, of lovers, of families, of religion.
Scrape off the rust and see that everything shines
and though brightest so in youth,
youth quickly gives way to naivety.
Responsibilities stack and stack, weighing heavily
on aching bones and aging minds
and so easily we forget how to be carefree
and we grapple with how to just "say"
because you unpack my boxes in a different manner
because that's how your father taught you.
The content may remain the same in essence,
but the subtexts, the ribbons we tie to those experiences
that which allots the capacity for uniqueness
and that which commands inherent beauty
may be difficult, but I wouldn't have it,
I wouldn't have you,
I wouldn't live,
any other way.

17 May 2011

Queens of Fire

Moving forward, ever forward.
Taking a shot at the sun
and failing. The faithful fall
on heavy knees with no words
but gossip. Fuck the naysayers
and failing. For words are words
with sharpened edge and implication.
They have tenacity and capacity,
the capacity to act intuitive to
that which finds themselves
convenient. Wildfire words.
Wildfire words. Some fires
can't be put out once they're
set in motion, no matter how
trivial their origin.

14 May 2011

Honest Eyes

Song of the Moment: Jimmy Eat World - Drugs or Me
Song for Awhile: The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize?

Let me preface my poem. Typically I wouldn't do so, but I feel as though I have to qualify something. I've been to hundreds of live concerts. I've seen acts spanning nearly every major genre. Tonight I was fortunate enough to see The Flaming Lips at The Fillmore in Detroit. By a landslide, this show was the most monumental/pivotal/enter-a-paramount-word-of-your-choosing to which I've bore witness. The show was bliss. Happiness. Optimism. Thanks, Wayne.

Honest Eyes

Honest eyes make blue skies
because their good nature,
and simple words see sharpest
because their poignant edge.

So why waste words when word will do
but more than do, what's best for you?
Lost is meaning, but never our means
in the word(s) we choose, evermore true.

And forget not how we forget about others
and act accordingly--on our own accord.
Two opinions are talking, within any talk
Decisions affect, and thereby effect.

So when every last one of them are gone
whether before or after your time, too,
remember to extend the hand of help
and know it will reach back out for you.

13 May 2011


The summer sun drains and fulfills,
enlightening while producing darkness
in the form of the shadows outstretched.
It is our star, just another speck of light
in the night skies abroad;
and with such immense power,
the kind that can hardly be grasped
we feel it's heat, on our skins
in our souls.
Setting both ablaze, hardening us
from the dangers that rest beyond.
This star is my brother,
consistant and fiercely loyal
through and through, it may go and hide
but never is it gone.
Always to return again, following me east
leading me west, infinitely playing tag
with it's sister, our moon.
Sol and Luna. Bring forth your lightness
In heart, in spirit, in being.

11 May 2011

Instances of Life

Song of the Moment: The Photographic - Millie Rode to Heaven on the Back of an Orca

Two separate moments were a frank reminder the extent to which life exists outside my own threshold of thought. A general disclaimer is that while I'm aware the extent to which living organisms exist and I'm not some kind of maniacal egotistical prick, I'm merely making commentary on the idea that one typically goes through his or her life under the constructs that all decisions somehow play into the formation of their human condition. Instead, these instances provided an eye-opening moment or two in which I believed to understand the world from the view of another.

The first took place on my bicycle. I was riding into work for the day. This is a fairly common occurrence only thrown off by the forecast of rain and even then it is debatable. I'm not going to pretend to be some conscientious bicycle operator. I don't wear a helmet, weave through traffic and switch between pavement and sidewalk at my convenience. Pass your judgments and let's move forward. So here I am, stuck at this intersection. It's quite a busy intersection at that. Morning rush is going on and everybody seems frazzled to get to work. The time reads 8:10. Michigan time? Not anymore.

The seconds seem to tick on slowly. Not for the sake of getting to work, that's already been addressed. Rather, it seems like the stoplight is never going to change. No level of biker's audacity could convince me to jet out into this river of metal and glass. We're talking a really busy intersection here. The kind that starts ticking the caution red high-five hand as soon as crossing is permitted. Needless to say, I was stuck. I surveyed the situation around me to figure out some sort of alternative. The road was divided so I always had the option of going halfway and waiting it out on the median, but the flow of cars from my left side was relentless. Looking further along, I noticed a black pick-up truck waiting to make a left-hand turn at the light's change to red. I'd have to account for her when I would finally get the opportunity to make my mad dash. This is the moment that it all came together. The light changed yellow and the flow of traffic was dammed by an invisible, unspoken wall that the light represented.

The next logical step would be for the woman in the black truck to make her move. A driver's trick. Can't run a red, unless you're already in the intersection and then you have to complete your action. A loophole to keep people from being endlessly stuck waiting to make a turn. It made me wonder how long it took to figure out this special clause. Ideally, some congressman or politician missed an important meeting on traffic law. Bittersweet and ironic.

What struck me as peculiar though is that the woman inched forward momentarily before reapplying the brakes and waiting. Her deviation from what I willed to happen in my head struck a chord and really made me consider the implications of my thoughts. Who was I to assume she would do anything? It just seemed so automatic, so natural because that's what I'd seen a million times before. It made me realize just how many decisions are made on so many fronts. I pondered for several moments what her rationale could possibly have been. Could it be attributed to some sort of personal issue she was experiencing or was it nothing more than indecision. A lack of action or reaction and the resulting consequence of waiting until the next green light.

I'll never be able to say with any degree of certainly, and in all likelihood she hasn't spared even a split second to consider the way in which I am conscious. It just seems to easy to let that slip into the wayside on a given day. It is for these reasons I find altruism to be a flawed belief. People act out of self-interest to some extent. They may be phenomenal people, giving up their happiness for others and whatnot, but what one must truly consider is how polarized differing minds work. This woman inspired me to write, but she could never anticipate that. All because she pumped the brakes and didn't act on a whim.

The second thing that further affirmed this was upon my arrival at the office. I locked up my bicycle and made my way up the steps, only to find myself face-to-face with a lethargic squirrel. By the looks of things, I'd just woken it up. Lazily sprawled across the cement, my initial instinct was that the creature was injured. Why would I jump to such a conclusion? I began contemplating this rationale and realized it was because I'd never been in a situation where I bore witness to waking up a squirrel from its sleep. I became hyper-aware of life at that moment.

There had never been an instance of such a thing happening in my lifetime. It was beautifully mundane, but so very important. Being alive is such a strange thing. Having the capacity, no matter how limited or free, to do what you want to do and not be driven by the strings of fate, or otherwise the guidelines and rules set forth throughout the span of one's existence. And to think, this all results from little bits of bioelectricity forming actions and sorting through memory. Then, realize that humans alone make up 7 billion (arguably) independently thinking creatures. That's just one species. It can be unbearable to try and wrap one's head around so much life and so many processes. It made me take a step back and think about how much I appreciate others. For their ability to act (or not), to inspire and mostly because there is so much vitality and importance on interaction between two beings.

09 May 2011


Dandelion wine and dandelion smile
Dandelion eyes won't you stay awhile?
Dandelion hair shining in the dandelion sun
Bet you can't pick just a dandelion one.

Melancholy fields bring a dandelion mellow
wandering through them a dandelion fellow.
So leaves its mark on my now dandelion hand
Yet I dare not act to dandelion withstand.

Thanks to you for changing my dandelion mind.
so that neither of us end up left dandelion behind
in a world that overlooks such dandelion appeal
I've found by slowing down; a dandelion ideal.

Dandelions and flowers, you see one in the same.
While others see weeds--a most atrocious claim!
Second to none, your vision rings true,
The beauty you see, I see in you.


Song of the moment: LCD Soundsystem - I Can Change


Such contradictory advice comes our way as life progresses. One must sift through the experiences of others in order to make a judgment as to its applicability to our own state-of-being. A constant flow of information bombards our senses, notions and driving beliefs. What piques my interest about such intricacies is how that information gets lost in transport from one vessel to another. It is inevitable as there is no conceivable way to date that one can directly implant experience into another. Thank God for that. How boring life would become should we ever stumble across that technology. It would be the essence of creating a flawed utopia. Mistakes would cease to exist under the assumption that free-will would be driven by nothing more than consequences and memory.

One thing I find particularly of interest is the way in which we must stand our ground. Or not. It is the ultimate dilemma in terms of decision-making. Does one stick to their figurative guns and always assert their originality and authenticity in what makes them individual? Or otherwise are they obligated to expand their horizons, open their doors, let others influence the way they live their life. The real answer is that there is no answer. Some shade of grey that falls on neither end of the spectrum. Pardon the cliche Disney quote, but it is important to always "Remember who you are." Always keep that in mind and stay true to what makes you you. Compromising that puts one's existence in turmoil, as it is important to anchor life in that which one already knows.

On the flip side, don't be closed-minded. There is a difference in fundamentally altering oneself and adapting to the world surrounding. Try new things, experiment, and most importantly, make mistakes. Make mistakes so that you can learn what not to do next time. I believe wholeheartedly that those who take risks have a strategic edge over those who live conservatively. Some rationalize high standards, but at the same time, how high can the standards really be? If an individual so very carefully makes life decisions based on high criteria towards others, who is to say that said individual doesn't see you under those same high standards? That is to say, without mistakes, learning experiences and personal growth, one lacks the reciprocation of that which they're passing judgment upon.

Life is in binary opposition. The polarized ends exist to counter and balance. Balance is underrated. Have fun, go get fucked up, do the things you want to do. At the same time, take some time to slow things down, take a deep breath, enjoy the little things. It'll put things on an even keel. Some of the most important people in my life are those who help me achieve balance and vice versa. I can think of nothing that makes me more appreciative than a friend who knows how to really make me think in an unconventional way, either changing the scope of my focus to something more macro--the universe or collective conscious--or otherwise the micro, the smallest life that exists right in front of all of us, typically going by unnoticed in our fast paced means of living.

Find the balance. Throw some extra weight on one side and then work hard to get it back to equilibrium. Keep things fun. The arms of the scale are never one-sided. Keeping that in mind, don't be afraid to pursue something that doesn't match up with the norms. Normal is boring. Boring. Boring. Boring. You might go out and try something new, and you might fail, but at least you'll have valuable insight.

06 May 2011


Leaves of grass and bladed tongue,
what do and did can't be undone.
So when all things fall into place
consider it not a saving Grace.
But rather know what lies ahead
the sands trickling til we're dead
are all that buffers now from when
lessons over lessons again and again.
Pure chaos//parallel lines,
until they aren't.

25 April 2011

Little Pockets of Perfection

In each of our lives, there are moments that ring true louder than the rest. It can happen when we least expect it, but is always pleasantly surprising. They're the sort of moments that you take a step back from a situation to see it for what it really is, a small pocket of perfection. A moment so surreal and so true to the essence of what exists that it can numb the mind. It can be insightful, offering a glimpse into futures unknown, or otherwise take a mental snapshot of what was once beautiful prodding through the wrinkled fabric of life. 

Shit happens, but it is these small moments that I live. They reassert any doubts that ever exist in my mind and sharpen the focus on both the past memories and the end goals. There is no logical formula for what produces these moments, and they strike--both at the chords of my soul and at free-will--without provocation or warning. It is a consuming feeling, knowing that things larger than myself are at work.

Forgive my vagueness if I seem at all cryptic or nondescript. It isn't for a lack of words to describe this particular occurrence, but rather that I'm being unfair as an author. I know it is my role to share experiences with you, so I'll get as specific as I possibly can while still maintaining some integrity.

A particular example of this took place no more than one year ago. There was nothing in particular striking or vivid about the situation. I was studying at a friends house. Sitting on her living room couch with my laptop out, inevitably putting off my studies in favor of wasting time. I'm pretty good at that. So anyways, this girl wasn't in the same room as me, but rather washing the dishes in the kitchen. Now, allow me a disclaimer. After finishing my story, refrain from bringing any gender dynamics into this. I don't give a shit what you think, it was merely a moment in time that stuck out in my head.

Back to the story. She was washing the dishes in the other room. We'd just ate a meal, I think it may have been a modified macaroni and cheese or else grilled cheese. Either way, it had cheese in it and it was tasty. I was in a post-dinner ecstasy state-of-mind. Content is the perfect word to describe it. I felt content. I looked over in the kitchen and noticed her washing the dishes. In that moment, I had a flash forward. Not too far forward, but rather a few years. It wasn't her shared-between-several-roommates college house, but rather our own. 

We were a couple years older, more hardened by the events of our past. More mature, but not too serious. Never too serious. Just more grown up. I felt like we were somewhere else, not in Michigan anymore, but just in another location. No rationale, just instinct. We are older and I'm sitting there on my computer and she washing the dishes post-dinner. Nothing special, yet perfect.

It was perfect because it was normal. It was right. I had another one of these moments today, and one the previous night. Moments that reiterate my eternal struggle grappling with love, loss, the usual 20-something problems. So these moment happens, perfectly uneventful. In fact, they'd go by in passing to most people without a second glance. It's lying uncomfortably in a bed with somebody and staying uncomfortable so they won't wake up and thus end the moment. It's spending time with their family and realizing how they idealize everything you seek. The world is too caught up today in completing checklists, rushing through things without taking in the moment. There is so much beauty right in front of us, sometimes just out of reach, although nothing is ever truly out of reach. Life goes on, day in and day out, the moon makes its passes, phase after phase, light and dark, renewing the night sky every 30 nightfalls. Just keep a mental note in the back of your mind for those little pockets of perfection. They may still catch you off guard, but don't lose the opportunity to take a step back and see a moment for what it is. Otherwise you might just be missing out on a lot. An awful lot.


21 April 2011

Requiem Cometh

"A fragment of time, which is not recorded. There is a moment of darkness..." - Bibio

Packing and unpacking/
the trickle down of information/
what was once quintessence now essence.


Should anything so pure exist anymore/
and what it means to be 'highly original'/
where lies my muse?


Not in the mountain lakes/
nor the Green goddess/
who so diligently helped so many before.


Rather it lies in every next word/
the anticipation of the requiem/
the story after the story...

15 April 2011


I have all these big plans, hopes, dreams. A million different paths my life could take at this point and it is all unstructured. I want to explore. Roam into endless fields, speckled with trees, skyscraping mountains in the distance capped with snow. I want to to sleep under a sky where the only light pollution is lightyears away. I think it is important that we all take a journey after we complete school, in order to purge ourselves of the toxins and rigors of life. Take me back to a simpler place. I want to adjust my frequency to that of the natural world. I'd bring with me only the necessary tools to survive, along with a pen and notebook to try and capture the essence surrounding me.

The longer I forgo taking action, the more difficult it comes to escape the surly grasps of society. I don't plan on living a conventional life. It isn't for everybody. Most people rely heavily on doing the same day-in day-out actions to get by. My "problem" is that I get bored too easily. I need adventure. I'm stuck in the 21st century when all I want to do is get on a ship and explore the uncharted. If I could have any job in the world, what would I choose? Cartographer. Nothing could be more thrilling than forging the first maps, seeing things that no other human has ever bore witness to.

Sometimes I think my love for writing is only living vicariously through the adventurers of the past. I have the freedom to create my own universe. I gain pleasure from sending my protagonist away from the comfort of his home and throwing him into the beauty and perils of the wild unknown. That is gratifying. I'm slowly realizing there is only so much time we have. I fear I won't be able to accomplish everything I want to in life. A realistic and problematic concern, although every second I'm not acting on some accord is only my own fault. It is cliche to say how little time we have, but noble to realize it and have the courage to make something of it. That is all.


13 April 2011

Farewell Michigan

Though I'm still approaching the last hellacious stretch of my final semester as an undergraduate, I would like to address some loose ends.

Dear Michigan,
You have changed me so in these brief four years. I came into this institution a boy, and now at the end of this liberal education, I am an enlightened boy with a tinge of discipline and capability. I still make most of the same mistakes as always, I'm just a lot better at covering my tail and managing my time. Those are the lessons that cannot be taught by even the most dedicated professor.

You've taught me to lose. It was a hard lesson to learn, but with the state of our sports teams, the elusive female or otherwise being the least knowledgable person in a given class, I found myself at some of the lowest of lows. It is an important place to be at least once in your life. The only way to go from there is up, and it is only when we rebuilt our foundations do we actually make progress. Trying to build on a fault is only going to result in an eventual and inevitable collapse of spirit.

You've taught me to be honest. It is a process infinitely in the works, but an important one. The world makes it a terribly easy place to be deceitful, to cut corners, and so on. Don't get me wrong, I'll certainly be the first to take a sharp turn a little bit fast, shaving a second here and there, but I'm doing it for the right reasons. I'm trying to get from point A to B as fast as I reasonably can without causing any damage. Forward thinking or reckless? It is debatable.

I've learned to be my own boss. The amount of control an individual possesses is amazing if he or she looks past the institutionalized red tape that the system ingrains into our self. There is much power in saying, "no." It demonstrates the capacity to earn and dictate respect. In a world dominated by the status quo, it is inspiring to try to challenge that system. Overcoming those walls or not, as I very well may burn, I won't feel as though I'm alive until I try.

I've learned to take care of myself. After a few years of treating my body and soul like shit, it has started to catch up with me. I have prevailed over loans and debts and came out of this crazy tornado of a lifestyle with not a single anchor. Freedom is a thing to cherish and as I emerge from college a grown individual, I savor my freedom. Not a place in the world is unobtainable so long as I put forth the effort at this point. It is refreshing to feel so light, as I could pack my belongings and forge whatever life I so desire.

Most importantly though, I've learned to write, to articulate, to talk and express the human condition. This is the most formal of my learnings, as my coursework led to much of this contribution. Special thanks go out to those professors who sparked my creativity: Jeremiah Chamberlin, Ralph Williams, Sean Silver. You guys were great and I credit the three of you. Whatever your reasons for teaching at this university, here is an informal shout out to applaud your efforts. They have paid off and paved the road ahead for me.

Those close friends of mine who have become my family, I couldn't ask for much better in a crew. We've survived the pitfalls and the uptakes. We've ridden out the choppy waters and partaken in some of the most spontaneous adventures. I cannot speak of my impact in your respective lives, but I wouldn't have made it had any of you ceased to keep me pushing on. You know who you are, and know that I am forever grateful for gracing me with your presence. Graduating or not, I have nothing but confidence in your future endeavors. Thanks for putting up with my bullshit, because we all know what a pain-in-the-ass I can be.

All of my best wishes,

11 April 2011

Blur (A Period Piece)

"Blurry lines are the best kinds,"
I spoke to her that very night.
As she wondered and wandered
while we back-and-forth pondered
why be there no reason for fright.
Of course she has her doubts
about all the bouts
that inevitably affect our lives.
Especially from afar, the door left ajar,
so that the light only shine through a crack.
Yet as long as the light stays lit through the night
the sun does the work half the time
Enlightening our path, so solitude we'll hath
and connecting when the light doth shine.

04 April 2011

Things I Like

Being the last asleep and first awake
so that I may misconstrue my bad decisions
for a skewed omnipresence to the world.
And consider how I reflect best when
the last dreamers have laid down for the night.

Listening to the sounds of distant trains
and watching above me the far off planes.
Where I waste my days in wonder
of where those people are going
but really where they're going.

Natural highs.
The kind brought on by music, adventure
Love and fond memories. My favorite drugs.
Euphoric and consuming, dynamically ecstatic
With a beautiful alpenglow afterglow.

The chatoyancy of tiger eye
so that it looks woven of silk
Natural yet mathematical in design
The intermediary of man and Mother
Nature's joke on a higher intelligence.

Dew-coated spider-webs at sunrise
Even if I despite what created such beauty
A woven network that succeeds only in
The unique ability to reenforce each point
With the strength provided within itself.

Walking down the middle of the street
at 5 am, hoping the world isn't abandoned;
Only to be reassured by the lone driver
starting an early supply route, and the
mutual respect shared from the passing glance.


Well hello everybody!

It's been QUITE some time. I extend my apologies for the extended length without update. My life has essentially been in overdrive. I've found myself at a junction of sorts. Finishing up my undergrad course work, traveling, and bouncing back from a weird slump of sorts has consumed ALL of my time. I really mean it too. My social life has been on the decline and along with that, my online identity.

I'm back now though.

I think it is very interesting and something I've contemplated long since its initial occurrence. There seems to be phases to every individual. I realize this is nothing revolutionary. Everybody has their ups-and-downs. Cliches spring up by the truckload to emphasize this point. Conversely, one thing that doesn't often get discussed is the way in which we consider what catalyzes these phases.

What drives an individual to a slump? What makes them recluse themselves and let the little things permeate to all aspects of their life? I think it all boils down to perception. We color things the way that becomes most convenient in our lives. Pessimists dig their holes deeper, so they're harder to climb out of. Conversely, optimists keep climbing the rungs, so that the fall is greater. Eventually, a greater equilibrium reigns and everything balances out. The ancient Greeks had it right: Everything in moderation.

The world works really hard to keep things on a somewhat even keel. On one hand, the probabilities are low for the average person to break through and become famous or globally successful. This can be dissuading, if one doesn't consider that likewise, you have to be a pretty big failure to mess up things enough to lose it all. Fortune only plays so much into either of those hands. The rest comes from not hard work, but smart work.

That brings me to my next point. I find myself very conflicted by the idea of working hard. Everybody older than me says its the best way to earn happiness as a reward. I don't know that I can agree with it. While hard work is important, what you work hard on is subjective. I think if you work hard on the correct niche things, you'll work a lot less hard, though equally harder for smaller bursts and yield the same, if not greater reward.

I was raised being told that I always had a keen knack for cutting corners. I've since come to realize that I could embrace it. No need to condemn myself when I could twist it positively and utilize it as a talent. Cutting corners is what the person who sees me negatively would portray my character as. Consider me rationalizing a fault if you'd like, but the way I see is is that I find the most efficient path to what I want to achieve. No need to diddle dawdle around when I can just get right  to the core of things.

I'm not perfect by any means. I don't like losing and I don't like being told no. My competitive nature usually permits me to reroute and or persuade at my discretion until I appease my need to succeed. It is a unique situation and a gift I'm eternally blessed to embrace.

So what is the point of all this? I guess I'm simply stating that so often people find themselves polarized. That is to say, stuck on one end of the other of the spectrum. My advice? Start thinking unconventionally. The greatest minds throughout history did so. Haters are going to hate. They'll suggest that it is also the quickest way to failure. How many of them committed so fiercely though? I suspect not very many.

Do what you want to do. Follow your heart. Find a way to win. Always.


17 March 2011

You Can't Unmix the Pudding

It'd be easy for anybody to go crazy thinking of our place in the world. Just walking to class today, I couldn't help think of my minor part in the collective world. I walked by buildings, with stories literally and figuratively much larger than myself. They are given names of men who made it in life. It is overwhelming, and it is only Ann Arbor. I don't even want to talk about Chicago or New York, where you really get a sense of just how little we are individually.

This is the part of my writing where I could digress and talk about the way in which our unification and finding those who share similar views exponentially expand our metaphorical size. I'll spare you that lecture today. It is a very belittling feeling to know that it becomes an us against the world battle. It isn't a hopeless struggle, but the odds do their best to work against our endeavors. It reminds of me of those college weeder courses, Math 115 or Econ 101--a sort of test to figure out our resolve. "Those who stay will be champions" sort of mentality. Times have been much harder for many different groups of people. In many ways, I have advantages few ever know. Maybe I take it for granted. Maybe I'm down on myself because I can't find a job. I could speculate all day. The fact of the matter is that it isn't an easy process. Nobody ever sugar-coated it and pretended it would be. Yet, having been brought up in a world where I never really had to work hard to achieve anything, maybe it is the time now. I can't expect my lucky streak to run forever. Eventually I'm going to hit a few bad breaks, to test the way in which I respond. What worries me is that I don't have any preparation for this disaster response. I don't know the way in which I'll react when I realize life isn't going the way I want.

I offer my condolences if this sounds angst-y. I promise I do feel blessed everyday by the way in which I've been given opportunity. Giving up isn't an option I'd soon consider. I'm just getting my mind prepared and ready to rally. Because mark my words, and I trust them well, I will find a way to succeed. Someday, I hope that somebody stumbles across this post and can hold me to it in an interview. A distant memory for me, it'll provide valuable insight to the next generation of aspiring writers or other dream seekers. That would be a content life for me. Knowing that I inspired somebody to get their life on track and follow the aspirations within, not colored by the pressures of the world around us. I think I'd be content knowing that and that alone.

A Census for Bumtown


I'm so sickened by our world that I don't even want to write. I'm making myself do so because it's good to learn to write under any emotional state. What I can't shake is the feeling that our future is relatively hopeless. We're entering a job market without prospects. I went to one of the most prestigious universities in the entire world. Sure, my degree is in English and I've been focusing on getting a particular type of job in a particular city. Some will argue that I'm not trying hard enough. I'm trying. I know the direction I want things to go, and persistance seems to be the only relevant way to get anywhere anymore.

It is appalling though, the state in which we are entering the real world. It seems that around every turn, the world is becoming a worse place. Not just for ourselves, but the kids we hope to someday raise. I try really hard to stay optimistic, to see the best the world has to offer. Yet, some of the people controlling the power are making it rather hard. I'll spare you the rant on politics. I just think it's fucked up how one-dimensional those in power see things. Where is chivalry? Where is selflessness? Why doesn't anybody just stay together for the kids anymore?

We're stuck in post-consumerism. It's just "me-ism" now. Nobody takes the time to think about anybody else. We say things like "I'm sorry" in everyday conversation, but who's really sorry. Who really takes more than a few seconds out of their day to consider the implications of their actions. Are we really brought up in a society that promotes wearing the blinders, looking straight forward and not giving a damn?

I'm just going to put it out there and say what everybody else has been whispering. We are living in dark times. Uncertain times. It is troublesome and it is problematic. I don't think there is any easy way out and somebody is going to have to pay for the stockpiling mistakes. I'd act bitter about how that is probably going to rest on the shoulders of my friends and me, but then we'd be no better than anybody else. I guess if I can die someday knowing that I made some important contribution to the balance of our feeble society, than I'd be happy.

The world really does do its worst in an attempt to purge the world of true optimists. It's the quintessential battle of good and evil. Troubling as it may be, humanity will so often err on the side of what becomes simpler and in our case, that which isn't righteous. It's tragic. People become cynical, hardened by the world, by the downs of life, and for some, by the God that lingers and watches as the world suffers.

My heart goes out, not limited to those in crisis overseas and locally, but to the people of our generation. Things aren't going to magically fix themselves. As we advance, so do the scales balance and we find ourselves in a tangled web. For each new discovery, we must also reflect on the way in which we choose to utilize our resources. Anybody who thinks the fruits of the world will drop into their hands has another thing coming, unless you have deep pocketbooks, old money or have a family working in the White House.

My heart indeed goes out, because a sinking feeling shrouds my own, knowing that the times, they aren't a-changin'. We have to ourselves find a way to advance intellectually in order to keep up with the way in which we sap this world of what little hope remains.

15 March 2011


I find myself so tired...
Where my heart and eyes
compete in respective heaviness.
My ears perk at the whispers
of summer's eventual arrival.
Such a tease, though.
I need the warmth,
for I've been cold so long.
And as I eagerly wait,
I let my heavy eyes win,
so that my heavy heart
can ease up In Dreams.

In the end it isn't the words,
nor the hook or chorus.
It isn't the harmony or progressions.
What really defines the spirit,
isn't understanding what makes the song
It's understanding that the beauty is,
just listening to the damn song.
So turn it up while I doze off,
my soul finally at rest.
Balance restored.

11 March 2011

Life and Death and Everything In Between.

I often find myself fascinated with death. I don't know what it is. The inclination that I'll go young? The thought that I'm obsessive about recording my words forever? I haven't the faintest of clues. It's all relatively stupid. In fact, I often find myself on both sides of the fence, if that is even possible. I look up at the shrouded moon at night, and think about how it cycles. Over and over. It is like a celestial phoenix, rebirthing itself from the ashes over and over. How beautiful. Things change, but there are these ever-constants in our life. They are our stability, the pillars to which we cling. Our reliance on them is weak, but one of necessity. I'm watching the moon fade now behind the clouds of the night sky. I'm not sure what I think of it, other than the solace I'll take in the fact that it will rise again so very soon. Our life is not the same. Once that fire is extinguished, that's the end of the road. Darkness. It's kind of poetic and tragic. The only thing we will remember is the mark we left on those we loved. Or hated. It becomes so easy to forget the implications our decisions have. The insecure and weak fail to realize the ways in which the consequences of our actions will permeate far longer than any given word. Sticks and stones? I call bullshit.

I have some of the most amazing people surrounding me in life. The kinds of friends that few ever know. Me on the other hand? What have I given them? Comfort when they need it? Sure. But what of the times when they don't need it. Sometimes I feel like the issue at stake is the way in which I find myself "on-call." That is to say, how I am there when needed, but a wandering enigma otherwise. I have no anchor to hold me down. It is every man's dream; all the while, also their nightmare. I don't think there is a middle ground in life. Just these polar opposites we stray between. A perpetual and figurative roller coaster of wondering and wandering. We become fortuitous when we discover that which grounds us. I'm sick of floating. I'm ready to feel alive.

Monetary Monotony, or, The Lack Thereof

Savor the moments at face value,
As reading in only stirs up trouble.
The night was a night, undoubtedly great.
But to see something more is a young
Boy's dream. Naive. Selfish.
For there are two worlds at stake
With previous investments unknown.
Who are you to waltz right in?
Let the memory of your night be great,
For what it was then and not now.
Preserve trumps persevere,
So c'est la vie the sweet voice
That calms my nerves and reassures
I'm not the only crazy one left.

05 March 2011

Raindrops and Rambles

An immense sadness looms over the voice of an author. Hemingway said never to cheat on this opportunity. To embrace it. That everybody was a little bit fucked up. The difference between the geniuses and the crazies were that the geniuses manifested their emotion through a filter and with it created. Poetic. Tragic. Beautiful.

I'm not sure I agree fully with Hemingway, though I do have my days. Sometimes the worst moments provide the best inspiration. It is the closest thing I could relate to addiction. At times it gets so bad that I wish upon myself a degree of drama and upheaval in order to bring new life to my writing. A critical eye would tell me that just demonstrates my lack of creative knack. I disagree. It is always best to write what you know. That's what I've learned, from people I consider much more apt writers than myself, as well as my own experiences writing.

There is infinite opportunity for these pivotal moments so long as my heart still beats. Even if things were to settle down and I had to invent stories from the cobwebbed compartments of my mind, I'd probably get bored. The life of a writer is nomadic in that regard. Always on the move and looking for the next high. There is no home base. No pause button. I'm grateful for that. There is too much to see and too much to do in life to be a homebody.

One thing that life is good at is testing the flex of an individual. That is to say, their ability to bend without breaking. Throwing the proverbial curveball. I love the curveball. I swing every time and I probably strike out more often than not. That's ok though. Every swing is unique and so long as I don't throw out my shoulder or something, I'm back at it the next time. So is the same with an author. I'll instigate, provoke, push the limit and prod until reactions happen. Authors are the catalysts. Then they're the scientists who share their exploits with the world.

As with everything, there are consequences. For each moment of fun is an equal moment of loneliness. My words are my trust friend, though they retard themselves from time to time. Nevertheless, I regret not a single experience yet. Those darkest of moments and sunniest of summer days all have shaped me, and in turn, the words you now read. Thank you for your time.


27 February 2011

February Rain

Patter, patter, patter.
The sound of the rain
on my rooftop.
Occasionally my silhouette
casts itself upon my closet
doors as the sky momentarily
sets itself ablaze.
Cars go up and down the street
and I think about the way in which
they're direction as oncoming or
departing sound so different;
The kinds of wonder they would
themselves never invent.
A transformer blows,
leaving in it's wake
unnatural noise, a whirlwind
of curses and darkness.
I write on, thankful for batteries.
I'm cozy in my brick box,
staring out the window
beyond my desk, absent-
mindedly forming
a singularity between
my thoughts and the paper.
The rain is refreshing, alive
in the midst of this winter,
that muffles and silences so well.
Though I do feel sorry for the man
with the rolling suitcase,
soaked to the bone, likely furious.
He sees tonight in such different light,
as so often our lives go.


Hit or stay, gamble away
your future but not
the hard-earned savings
from a different life ago.
Go go wherever you want,
seek out your dreams
to find recurring themes
of love and loss,
the old and avant-
garde--your heart
awaits in some far off place.
An adventure away
so set your own pace
and mind the gap
between the earth and space
For the fall is great
but after comes winter
where on drags the marathon
forget of being a sprinter
where you'd certainly burn out
Of which I have no doubt.
With that new lacking fire
So fades your desire
and notion of what's real
and how to reenter;
the world of before
which at first seemed a bore
but in truth the comfort
shall cradle.

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