15 August 2012

Some Thoughts Before Sleep

I've been thinking a lot lately about the world outside of the scope of my conscious being. There are so many brains around me, and, at any given point they're contemplating and processing their own unique set of thoughts, ideas, memories. I often find my mind in wonderment to how all these other brains around me come to think in the patterns they do. I understand the conditioning and external stimuli in the environment of their upbringing can greatly shape this, but how is it that they can overcome this and exercise free will over their life, break the proverbial cycle and think independently of their shaping? In essence, I am curious what it takes to get outside the box to think out there and look in to better understand not only oneself, but the environment in which they were a byproduct.

For me, it was a lengthy process. I had to learn to absolve my Ego, to let it first shape itself and grow to a degree, to rely on it as a safety net of my youth, then all at once, forget it. Letting go of it and understanding my place in a much grander, universal schema. Once gone, I came to know the well-crafted illusion or veil upon which my life had been based. It was a lot to swallow, a lot to come to terms with. Most that I'd known and come to depend on was simply wrong. Conversely, I felt the shackles come off, and with it, a new sense of purpose and lightness of being. I understood the point of living, of observing the growth of the universe, of existing in the present moment, and letting go of the anxiety-ridden future that had for so long plagued me.

It has been simultaneously rewarding and immensely frustrating to be where I have been of recent. The former in regards to having a better grasp on wholeness and purpose, and the latter in response to the concept that many still could get to this point. In due time, I believe that many will. I am fortunate enough to have come to these realizations with much potential life left to live. Some will realize when it is too late to reap the rewards of this gained insight, when their bodies are frail or cynicism has infected the depths of their soul. Time is important, but not all-important. To make much of the NOW as possible tends to yield the greatest quality of life.

I continue on, tormented by the words which may only reach a handful of ears with the hopes that my experiences and conclusions drawn may impact another, but hold no expectations that this may realistically be the case, for having such regard for my words and thoughts to directly shape the entirety of another mind is soberingly naive. Rather, I would like to think that I can trigger others to question their motives and beliefs, to hold a critical eye to that which has otherwise been foundational cornerstones to their life, so that curiosity drives some forward to further depths of their own selves, and eventually to the realm of the unknown. The only thing I can know for sure is that I can control and improve my own small corner of this universe, and through that, impart tidbits of my experience into the intricate memory webs of others in their own respective journeys.

01 August 2012

Prima Materia

The chaos, the alchemy, that yielded you and me
The Golden Age of beholden days follow us around
Our ever-changing selves, nano-second blood-brethren
particles, partial prints and imprints in memoriam of time,
non-linear–what was before and what is yet to come,
the anxiety asymptote of setting it aside in lieu of NOW,
Forging every precarious moment and setting forth
upon the infinitely delimited present in our presence
and unfortunately to so many, the lack thereof; as minds
seek out saturation of TV dinners and the faint blue glow,
the shade of which so aptly painted the portrait of their prisons,
their minds locked on and in doing so, locked in, to Progress,
"Success" and the expectations set not in stone, but rather
through the airwaves, developing a sixth sense of sorts:
Tuned in, turned on, but most certainly not dropped out,
That's not the way, that's not the way, that's not the way.

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