These next four years will change you. There will be a lot about you that will be unfaltering. Nevertheless, expect to open your eyes further than you'd ever previously expected. Your capacity to know the logistics of the world will expand. A lot of it will be depressing, yet the opportunity you'll be providing for yourself will open new doors. That opportunity is what you make it. You can commit the next 12 years to a career in medicine, 7 to be a lawyer, or 6 to be a teacher. The world demands more than four these days. Four years, one piece of paper and a whole metric shit ton of memories and experiences that can't be attributed a fair value. Personally, I changed my career path about six times before I settled on a life of writing. At one point I was even set to attend law school, before setting myself down and having a serious contemplation session. The end result? I realized I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I was doing it for the prestige and money rather than my passion. I would have made a damn fine lawyer, but I wouldn't have felt like I was using my life appropriately.
The most important thing to take away from those experiences is to do what you love. Find something you are passionate about. Let me repeat. Find something YOU are passionate about. Never mind whether or not mom and dad want you to be a doctor. If you're going to invest this time, be sure that it is something you care about. You don't have to decide from the moment you get into college. You have a few years of testing the waters before you come up with some inkling of an idea. It's your future. Better to spend it on something you care about rather than what will be safe for mom and dad.
That leads me to my second point: value what your mom and dad say. They are the basis of why you are the way you are. Wanted or not, they're the ones who instilled some sort of belief system in your life, whatever that may be. Assuming they did something right with you, you're probably either a bit more like them than you care to admit (or otherwise recognize) OR you aren't a thing like them and you've carefully learned from their mistakes and chosen to prosper for yourself instead of linger on the setback. Whether they can afford to back you financially, they are a pillar of support in your life. Don't be afraid to approach them with problems, show them the same respect you'd like to be treated with, and don't ever consider lying to them. Honesty, especially so with parents, will lead to a much more fruitful relationship.
College offers the unique opportunity to try many new things. Don't be too engrained in your current life. Go out and meet new people. Make mistakes. Try getting a companion or two. Don't sulk when you fail. Figure out what you did wrong and don't do it again. People are feeble and everybody is different. If it all worked out the first time, the world would be boring and suck a great deal. Mistakes are pockets of hidden beauty. A subtle reminder that we are, in fact, human and our biggest flaw and, arguably, most humbling trait, is that we err.
Likewise, forgive those who err towards you. Everybody is looking for a second chance. Be harsh but fair. People can learn, but only if you are willing to teach and work with them. Second chances ease the pain and can often times be prosperous for both parties. Karma works both ways.
Friends will come and friends will go. You may begin to notice a distancing between you and your high school classmates. That is bound to happen. The one or two that mattered the most will stick by your side to the bitter end. They'll make themselves apparent, whether it be in a time of need or a reunion following a lengthy hiatus. Don't try to hard to make something failing work. People grow in different directions. That said, don't be ruthless. Try to understand where everybody is coming from. There is a lot of cause for dismissal between friends, but don't go looking for reasons, and don't be afraid if you lose some along the way. It may hurt, but there will always be somebody new to fill the void left behind by an old friend severing ties.
There is a dark side to life that becomes available in college. Something is to be said about the notion that nobody is watching you. What you do with that time is your own decision. Don't succumb to peer pressure, but if there is anything you were ever curious about, do it now. Do it well and don't get caught. Don't be afraid to try something new, but don't be weak enough to fall for something stupid. Use these opportunities to expand your minds. Someday, you'll be parents, and there will be no worse feeling than being caught off guard by something your child did that you know NOTHING about. The preliminary research can be enjoyable. In addition, the post-graduate search for a home, career or partner can greatly obscure the ability to experiment. Don't get me wrong though. These are the years that you will be responsible for your actions and accordingly have to suffer the repercussions. I can attest to that when I nearly lost my scholarship freshman year. There simply aren't enough hours in the day for school, friends, drinking, sports, eating, sleeping and so on. Have fun but find the balance.
It is important to always pay off your debts. I worked my ass off these last few years to pay for my education, housing, occasional girlfriend and lifestyle. Working almost full-time with a full load of coursework was no easy task. What became apparent right away was the need to manage my time better. It took me awhile, but I learned the value of my time and made sure to use it well. College is a long four years, which are comprised of many late nights, lots of headaches, and more compromise than I'll ever know how to accurately convey. It is important to always work off your debt. Those shackles will bind your ability to move forward and may eventually hinder your progress in the world. One of the reasons I turned down law school was because I couldn't stand the notion of owing $100,000+ dollars to somebody else. Sure I could spend the next few years working it off, but I haven't owed money to anybody thus far, why would I deviate from that lofty goal if I could help it? A modest and honest living with no debt is much preferable and conducive to happiness to one in which you're constantly looking over your shoulder for the debt collector and spending your days writing checks to people you owe for your success.
There are so many people from every walk of life here in college. Be sensitive to their situation. You don't know what they've been through to get there. Likewise, understand that they may not understand things you've been through. I came from a very small town, and spend my first year meeting people from all over the world. They had cultural differences, interesting stories, new foods and at times those aspects meshed, while other times caused conflict. I got in arguments about religion, cultural phenomena, and the prevalence of racism in a world I otherwise considered post-race. Boy, was I wrong about that. I learned to keep my ears open and hear what they were saying. It made me consider a lot—about the town in which I was raised, about how much I still had to learn and the way in which we are colored by our experiences. I clearly had much to learn and that still very much is the case.
Never stop learning. Push forward even when your education is done. Always move forward; just don't worry about doing it quickly. Speed is cause for error. Efficiency and speed are not the same thing. Always aim for efficiency. Don't be arrogant, unless you have just cause for your abilities. Even then, keep your big head to yourself. There will likely always be somebody a little bit better. No matter if that is the case, talent doesn't always outdo hard work. You may not be the most talented, but if you work the hardest, people will take notice. Hard work is learned and what you reap is earned. Talent is innate, but does not dictate success by any means.
With that parting sliver of wisdom I've encountered over the past few years, know that these are mere suggestions. If you understand them, you'll also understand that there is an equal and completely reasonable counterargument to each thing. The importance then becomes taking something away from this. Go out into the world and make a difference. Stand up for your beliefs and smile to everybody. Keep your head up and always push forward. Learn from your mistakes and carry on. In four years, regurgitate some of this information, as changed and influenced by your own experiences. I'd wish you luck, but you're all more than capable of success than to rely on something as trivial as luck. Go make your own.
T
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