You Can't Unmix the Pudding

It'd be easy for anybody to go crazy thinking of our place in the world. Just walking to class today, I couldn't help think of my minor part in the collective world. I walked by buildings, with stories literally and figuratively much larger than myself. They are given names of men who made it in life. It is overwhelming, and it is only Ann Arbor. I don't even want to talk about Chicago or New York, where you really get a sense of just how little we are individually.

This is the part of my writing where I could digress and talk about the way in which our unification and finding those who share similar views exponentially expand our metaphorical size. I'll spare you that lecture today. It is a very belittling feeling to know that it becomes an us against the world battle. It isn't a hopeless struggle, but the odds do their best to work against our endeavors. It reminds of me of those college weeder courses, Math 115 or Econ 101--a sort of test to figure out our resolve. "Those who stay will be champions" sort of mentality. Times have been much harder for many different groups of people. In many ways, I have advantages few ever know. Maybe I take it for granted. Maybe I'm down on myself because I can't find a job. I could speculate all day. The fact of the matter is that it isn't an easy process. Nobody ever sugar-coated it and pretended it would be. Yet, having been brought up in a world where I never really had to work hard to achieve anything, maybe it is the time now. I can't expect my lucky streak to run forever. Eventually I'm going to hit a few bad breaks, to test the way in which I respond. What worries me is that I don't have any preparation for this disaster response. I don't know the way in which I'll react when I realize life isn't going the way I want.

I offer my condolences if this sounds angst-y. I promise I do feel blessed everyday by the way in which I've been given opportunity. Giving up isn't an option I'd soon consider. I'm just getting my mind prepared and ready to rally. Because mark my words, and I trust them well, I will find a way to succeed. Someday, I hope that somebody stumbles across this post and can hold me to it in an interview. A distant memory for me, it'll provide valuable insight to the next generation of aspiring writers or other dream seekers. That would be a content life for me. Knowing that I inspired somebody to get their life on track and follow the aspirations within, not colored by the pressures of the world around us. I think I'd be content knowing that and that alone.