Dandy

Dandelion wine and dandelion smile
Dandelion eyes won't you stay awhile?
Dandelion hair shining in the dandelion sun
Bet you can't pick just a dandelion one.

Melancholy fields bring a dandelion mellow
wandering through them a dandelion fellow.
So leaves its mark on my now dandelion hand
Yet I dare not act to dandelion withstand.

Thanks to you for changing my dandelion mind.
so that neither of us end up left dandelion behind
in a world that overlooks such dandelion appeal
I've found by slowing down; a dandelion ideal.

Dandelions and flowers, you see one in the same.

While others see weeds--a most atrocious claim!

Second to none, your vision rings true,

The beauty you see, I see in you.

Flux

Song of the moment: LCD Soundsystem - I Can Change

Flux

Such contradictory advice comes our way as life progresses. One must sift through the experiences of others in order to make a judgment as to its applicability to our own state-of-being. A constant flow of information bombards our senses, notions and driving beliefs. What piques my interest about such intricacies is how that information gets lost in transport from one vessel to another. It is inevitable as there is no conceivable way to date that one can directly implant experience into another. Thank God for that. How boring life would become should we ever stumble across that technology. It would be the essence of creating a flawed utopia. Mistakes would cease to exist under the assumption that free-will would be driven by nothing more than consequences and memory.

One thing I find particularly of interest is the way in which we must stand our ground. Or not. It is the ultimate dilemma in terms of decision-making. Does one stick to their figurative guns and always assert their originality and authenticity in what makes them individual? Or otherwise are they obligated to expand their horizons, open their doors, let others influence the way they live their life. The real answer is that there is no answer. Some shade of grey that falls on neither end of the spectrum. Pardon the cliche Disney quote, but it is important to always "Remember who you are." Always keep that in mind and stay true to what makes you you. Compromising that puts one's existence in turmoil, as it is important to anchor life in that which one already knows.

On the flip side, don't be closed-minded. There is a difference in fundamentally altering oneself and adapting to the world surrounding. Try new things, experiment, and most importantly, make mistakes. Make mistakes so that you can learn what not to do next time. I believe wholeheartedly that those who take risks have a strategic edge over those who live conservatively. Some rationalize high standards, but at the same time, how high can the standards really be? If an individual so very carefully makes life decisions based on high criteria towards others, who is to say that said individual doesn't see you under those same high standards? That is to say, without mistakes, learning experiences and personal growth, one lacks the reciprocation of that which they're passing judgment upon.

Life is in binary opposition. The polarized ends exist to counter and balance. Balance is underrated. Have fun, go get fucked up, do the things you want to do. At the same time, take some time to slow things down, take a deep breath, enjoy the little things. It'll put things on an even keel. Some of the most important people in my life are those who help me achieve balance and vice versa. I can think of nothing that makes me more appreciative than a friend who knows how to really make me think in an unconventional way, either changing the scope of my focus to something more macro--the universe or collective conscious--or otherwise the micro, the smallest life that exists right in front of all of us, typically going by unnoticed in our fast paced means of living.

Find the balance. Throw some extra weight on one side and then work hard to get it back to equilibrium. Keep things fun. The arms of the scale are never one-sided. Keeping that in mind, don't be afraid to pursue something that doesn't match up with the norms. Normal is boring. Boring. Boring. Boring. You might go out and try something new, and you might fail, but at least you'll have valuable insight.

Congruency

Leaves of grass and bladed tongue,
what do and did can't be undone.
So when all things fall into place
consider it not a saving Grace.
But rather know what lies ahead
the sands trickling til we're dead
are all that buffers now from when
lessons over lessons again and again.
Pure chaos//parallel lines,
until they aren't.

Little Pockets of Perfection

In each of our lives, there are moments that ring true louder than the rest. It can happen when we least expect it, but is always pleasantly surprising. They're the sort of moments that you take a step back from a situation to see it for what it really is, a small pocket of perfection. A moment so surreal and so true to the essence of what exists that it can numb the mind. It can be insightful, offering a glimpse into futures unknown, or otherwise take a mental snapshot of what was once beautiful prodding through the wrinkled fabric of life. 

Shit happens, but it is these small moments that I live. They reassert any doubts that ever exist in my mind and sharpen the focus on both the past memories and the end goals. There is no logical formula for what produces these moments, and they strike--both at the chords of my soul and at free-will--without provocation or warning. It is a consuming feeling, knowing that things larger than myself are at work.

Forgive my vagueness if I seem at all cryptic or nondescript. It isn't for a lack of words to describe this particular occurrence, but rather that I'm being unfair as an author. I know it is my role to share experiences with you, so I'll get as specific as I possibly can while still maintaining some integrity.

A particular example of this took place no more than one year ago. There was nothing in particular striking or vivid about the situation. I was studying at a friends house. Sitting on her living room couch with my laptop out, inevitably putting off my studies in favor of wasting time. I'm pretty good at that. So anyways, this girl wasn't in the same room as me, but rather washing the dishes in the kitchen. Now, allow me a disclaimer. After finishing my story, refrain from bringing any gender dynamics into this. I don't give a shit what you think, it was merely a moment in time that stuck out in my head.

Back to the story. She was washing the dishes in the other room. We'd just ate a meal, I think it may have been a modified macaroni and cheese or else grilled cheese. Either way, it had cheese in it and it was tasty. I was in a post-dinner ecstasy state-of-mind. Content is the perfect word to describe it. I felt content. I looked over in the kitchen and noticed her washing the dishes. In that moment, I had a flash forward. Not too far forward, but rather a few years. It wasn't her shared-between-several-roommates college house, but rather our own. 

We were a couple years older, more hardened by the events of our past. More mature, but not too serious. Never too serious. Just more grown up. I felt like we were somewhere else, not in Michigan anymore, but just in another location. No rationale, just instinct. We are older and I'm sitting there on my computer and she washing the dishes post-dinner. Nothing special, yet perfect.

It was perfect because it was normal. It was right. I had another one of these moments today, and one the previous night. Moments that reiterate my eternal struggle grappling with love, loss, the usual 20-something problems. So these moment happens, perfectly uneventful. In fact, they'd go by in passing to most people without a second glance. It's lying uncomfortably in a bed with somebody and staying uncomfortable so they won't wake up and thus end the moment. It's spending time with their family and realizing how they idealize everything you seek. The world is too caught up today in completing checklists, rushing through things without taking in the moment. There is so much beauty right in front of us, sometimes just out of reach, although nothing is ever truly out of reach. Life goes on, day in and day out, the moon makes its passes, phase after phase, light and dark, renewing the night sky every 30 nightfalls. Just keep a mental note in the back of your mind for those little pockets of perfection. They may still catch you off guard, but don't lose the opportunity to take a step back and see a moment for what it is. Otherwise you might just be missing out on a lot. An awful lot.

T

Requiem Cometh

"A fragment of time, which is not recorded. There is a moment of darkness..." - Bibio


Packing and unpacking/
the trickle down of information/
what was once quintessence now essence.

...

Should anything so pure exist anymore/
and what it means to be 'highly original'/
where lies my muse?

...

Not in the mountain lakes/
nor the Green goddess/
who so diligently helped so many before.

...

Rather it lies in every next word/
the anticipation of the requiem/
the story after the story...

Backyards

I have all these big plans, hopes, dreams. A million different paths my life could take at this point and it is all unstructured. I want to explore. Roam into endless fields, speckled with trees, skyscraping mountains in the distance capped with snow. I want to to sleep under a sky where the only light pollution is lightyears away. I think it is important that we all take a journey after we complete school, in order to purge ourselves of the toxins and rigors of life. Take me back to a simpler place. I want to adjust my frequency to that of the natural world. I'd bring with me only the necessary tools to survive, along with a pen and notebook to try and capture the essence surrounding me.

The longer I forgo taking action, the more difficult it comes to escape the surly grasps of society. I don't plan on living a conventional life. It isn't for everybody. Most people rely heavily on doing the same day-in day-out actions to get by. My "problem" is that I get bored too easily. I need adventure. I'm stuck in the 21st century when all I want to do is get on a ship and explore the uncharted. If I could have any job in the world, what would I choose? Cartographer. Nothing could be more thrilling than forging the first maps, seeing things that no other human has ever bore witness to.

Sometimes I think my love for writing is only living vicariously through the adventurers of the past. I have the freedom to create my own universe. I gain pleasure from sending my protagonist away from the comfort of his home and throwing him into the beauty and perils of the wild unknown. That is gratifying. I'm slowly realizing there is only so much time we have. I fear I won't be able to accomplish everything I want to in life. A realistic and problematic concern, although every second I'm not acting on some accord is only my own fault. It is cliche to say how little time we have, but noble to realize it and have the courage to make something of it. That is all.

T

Farewell Michigan

Though I'm still approaching the last hellacious stretch of my final semester as an undergraduate, I would like to address some loose ends.

Dear Michigan,
You have changed me so in these brief four years. I came into this institution a boy, and now at the end of this liberal education, I am an enlightened boy with a tinge of discipline and capability. I still make most of the same mistakes as always, I'm just a lot better at covering my tail and managing my time. Those are the lessons that cannot be taught by even the most dedicated professor.

You've taught me to lose. It was a hard lesson to learn, but with the state of our sports teams, the elusive female or otherwise being the least knowledgable person in a given class, I found myself at some of the lowest of lows. It is an important place to be at least once in your life. The only way to go from there is up, and it is only when we rebuilt our foundations do we actually make progress. Trying to build on a fault is only going to result in an eventual and inevitable collapse of spirit.

You've taught me to be honest. It is a process infinitely in the works, but an important one. The world makes it a terribly easy place to be deceitful, to cut corners, and so on. Don't get me wrong, I'll certainly be the first to take a sharp turn a little bit fast, shaving a second here and there, but I'm doing it for the right reasons. I'm trying to get from point A to B as fast as I reasonably can without causing any damage. Forward thinking or reckless? It is debatable.

I've learned to be my own boss. The amount of control an individual possesses is amazing if he or she looks past the institutionalized red tape that the system ingrains into our self. There is much power in saying, "no." It demonstrates the capacity to earn and dictate respect. In a world dominated by the status quo, it is inspiring to try to challenge that system. Overcoming those walls or not, as I very well may burn, I won't feel as though I'm alive until I try.

I've learned to take care of myself. After a few years of treating my body and soul like shit, it has started to catch up with me. I have prevailed over loans and debts and came out of this crazy tornado of a lifestyle with not a single anchor. Freedom is a thing to cherish and as I emerge from college a grown individual, I savor my freedom. Not a place in the world is unobtainable so long as I put forth the effort at this point. It is refreshing to feel so light, as I could pack my belongings and forge whatever life I so desire.

Most importantly though, I've learned to write, to articulate, to talk and express the human condition. This is the most formal of my learnings, as my coursework led to much of this contribution. Special thanks go out to those professors who sparked my creativity: Jeremiah Chamberlin, Ralph Williams, Sean Silver. You guys were great and I credit the three of you. Whatever your reasons for teaching at this university, here is an informal shout out to applaud your efforts. They have paid off and paved the road ahead for me.

Those close friends of mine who have become my family, I couldn't ask for much better in a crew. We've survived the pitfalls and the uptakes. We've ridden out the choppy waters and partaken in some of the most spontaneous adventures. I cannot speak of my impact in your respective lives, but I wouldn't have made it had any of you ceased to keep me pushing on. You know who you are, and know that I am forever grateful for gracing me with your presence. Graduating or not, I have nothing but confidence in your future endeavors. Thanks for putting up with my bullshit, because we all know what a pain-in-the-ass I can be.

All of my best wishes,
T

Blur (A Period Piece)

"Blurry lines are the best kinds,"
I spoke to her that very night.
As she wondered and wandered
while we back-and-forth pondered
why be there no reason for fright.
Of course she has her doubts
about all the bouts
that inevitably affect our lives.
Especially from afar, the door left ajar,
so that the light only shine through a crack.
Yet as long as the light stays lit through the night
the sun does the work half the time
Enlightening our path, so solitude we'll hath
and connecting when the light doth shine.

Things I Like

Being the last asleep and first awake

so that I may misconstrue my bad decisions

for a skewed omnipresence to the world.

And consider how I reflect best when

the last dreamers have laid down for the night.

Listening to the sounds of distant trains

and watching above me the far off planes.

Where I waste my days in wonder

of where those people are going

but really where they're going.

Natural highs.

The kind brought on by music, adventure

Love and fond memories. My favorite drugs.

Euphoric and consuming, dynamically ecstatic

With a beautiful alpenglow afterglow.

The chatoyancy of tiger eye

so that it looks woven of silk

Natural yet mathematical in design

The intermediary of man and Mother

Nature's joke on a higher intelligence.

Dew-coated spider-webs at sunrise

Even if I despite what created such beauty

A woven network that succeeds only in

The unique ability to reenforce each point

With the strength provided within itself.

Walking down the middle of the street

at 5 am, hoping the world isn't abandoned;

Only to be reassured by the lone driver

starting an early supply route, and the

mutual respect shared from the passing glance.

Winning

Well hello everybody!

It's been QUITE some time. I extend my apologies for the extended length without update. My life has essentially been in overdrive. I've found myself at a junction of sorts. Finishing up my undergrad course work, traveling, and bouncing back from a weird slump of sorts has consumed ALL of my time. I really mean it too. My social life has been on the decline and along with that, my online identity.

I'm back now though.

I think it is very interesting and something I've contemplated long since its initial occurrence. There seems to be phases to every individual. I realize this is nothing revolutionary. Everybody has their ups-and-downs. Cliches spring up by the truckload to emphasize this point. Conversely, one thing that doesn't often get discussed is the way in which we consider what catalyzes these phases.

What drives an individual to a slump? What makes them recluse themselves and let the little things permeate to all aspects of their life? I think it all boils down to perception. We color things the way that becomes most convenient in our lives. Pessimists dig their holes deeper, so they're harder to climb out of. Conversely, optimists keep climbing the rungs, so that the fall is greater. Eventually, a greater equilibrium reigns and everything balances out. The ancient Greeks had it right: Everything in moderation.

The world works really hard to keep things on a somewhat even keel. On one hand, the probabilities are low for the average person to break through and become famous or globally successful. This can be dissuading, if one doesn't consider that likewise, you have to be a pretty big failure to mess up things enough to lose it all. Fortune only plays so much into either of those hands. The rest comes from not hard work, but smart work.

That brings me to my next point. I find myself very conflicted by the idea of working hard. Everybody older than me says its the best way to earn happiness as a reward. I don't know that I can agree with it. While hard work is important, what you work hard on is subjective. I think if you work hard on the correct niche things, you'll work a lot less hard, though equally harder for smaller bursts and yield the same, if not greater reward.

I was raised being told that I always had a keen knack for cutting corners. I've since come to realize that I could embrace it. No need to condemn myself when I could twist it positively and utilize it as a talent. Cutting corners is what the person who sees me negatively would portray my character as. Consider me rationalizing a fault if you'd like, but the way I see is is that I find the most efficient path to what I want to achieve. No need to diddle dawdle around when I can just get right  to the core of things.

I'm not perfect by any means. I don't like losing and I don't like being told no. My competitive nature usually permits me to reroute and or persuade at my discretion until I appease my need to succeed. It is a unique situation and a gift I'm eternally blessed to embrace.

So what is the point of all this? I guess I'm simply stating that so often people find themselves polarized. That is to say, stuck on one end of the other of the spectrum. My advice? Start thinking unconventionally. The greatest minds throughout history did so. Haters are going to hate. They'll suggest that it is also the quickest way to failure. How many of them committed so fiercely though? I suspect not very many.

Do what you want to do. Follow your heart. Find a way to win. Always.

TC