Potpourri

Sometimes I wonder where my brain has gone?

As I gaze off into something that doesn't belong

A wall is a wall, but there is something more

When I look through the ceiling or into the floor.

The parallel world overlaid on our own

With different laws to abide and be shown.

I tap into this actualization, enlightened as one

Until I awake and know that my dream is done

It cannot be pinpointed or known for sure,

But takes some belief to take on that tour.

It brings peace of mind to know it is there

Yet simply can be too much to bear.

On a Whim

I don't feel much like thinking tonight,
But rather it's a time to act on instinct,
And to feel what seems right.
No repercussions. Probably solitude.
As I wonder where you wander in dreams.
Sipping cheap beer on the porch,
Talking endlessly against the solstice sun,
About things that matter so much collectively,
But so little until it fits in our puzzle.
Decisions, decisions.
The gift children envy. The curse that burdens the rest.
Do what's right or do what teaches.
Do nothing sometimes.
I miss much and regret nothing.
I've loved and lost. And won.
And even when I don't, I find a way.
Until the day I breathe no more.
And live, live, live.

Fatalism

And so it seems, I find myself here again and again,

never too far away and always close to my heart.

I often ponder the implications of settling,

where I know I can make myself be happy

with what I've got. But is it enough?

Is it ever enough? Am I selfish for wanting more?

Especially when I know the capacity for more is out there.
I held it once, but I let it slip. Now I lay sleepless,

knowing what's out there, what could be.

I'm not bitter, I'm not helpless.

I know it in all likelihood cannot be,

yet I still hold onto a thread.

The thread you dangle in front of me,

too thin to hang on. At least for now.

That thread obscures my vision, blurs everything else

around me. I'm ok with it for now.

I don't think it is punishment, even if I do deserve it.

And I'll unspool it for as long as it unravels

coming back to it at the expense of anybody

who would otherwise get in the way. Sorry in advance.

If and when that time comes back our way,

I don't know that I won't be in such limbo,

hurting the innocent, defending myself, proving to you

that I didn't go too far in the meantime.

Would I rather live alone and write of it,

or make somebody else happy and trap the demons

that haunt me everytime I leave your house, hang up the phone,

turn away and not know when I'll see you again?

You torture my soul, but I'll allow it.

Wanting me there in some ways, but only in some.

If that is the extent of us, I will take it.

Because I dare not choose when I don't have choice.

Someday. Someday. Someday.

I'll wait for you.

Things I've Learned

Hold onto your dreams even though they may be cryptic.

So often our dreams are skewed by the elders trying to relive the achievements they put off or neglected through the years.

The sky, the water, the land. It belongs to no one.

Community is at the core of what drives our world. Interaction between people. While time alone is vital for reflection and growth, that growth cannot be achieved without a little help from our friends.

Most of the time, it is better to let people make mistakes. Those mistakes function as learning opportunities. Not to mention that some things can't be taught, but rather are bound to experience.

If you want something, find a way to get it.

Patience is a virtue, but it sucks. All the puzzle pieces eventually end up fitting in some way or another. They may not look it initially, but that's the beauty of how our perception of the world changes as time goes on.

Parents are usually right about everything. It may seem counterintuitive, it may seem like they're hindering happiness, and it may seem like they're under different beliefs of how the world works, but they have been through a lot more than you or me.

Everything in moderation--including moderation.

Live every moment as extreme as you can, because who knows when there won't be a next moment.

Try everything at least once. The experience is worth the penalty...usually.

Talk less, say more.

Pick your battles wisely.

Go for a walk once a day and think about your goals.

Alcohol is expensive, makes you stupid, and there are ways to have fun without it. That being said, I enjoy a few drinks with friends and some of my best and worst college memories involve parties. Those memories are great because of the company though and not the bottle.

You can have a girlfriend and a best friend who is a girl. Ideally they should be the same person, but they can both exist respectively.

There is always more money to be made.

The best things happen when you don't try too hard. Let things take their course, don't add unnecessary pressure to something and just enjoy everything for what it is. The rest will do its work as it deems itself necessary.

Electronic music is the future.

Speaking of music, appreciate it and know what transformative and therapeutic properties it possesses. Music addresses the biggest problem with words: their limitation.

That is all for now. Thank you for reading.

Trainers

When the morning lark meets the night owl,
That's where I am, the transitory persona
splitting the difference between fair and right,
Because as those without money may vouch...

Good luck to each of you, I love you all

T.

Apocalypse

I exist outside of this time here,
a completely different world,
to which I do not seem to belong.
It thrives on its own rules, its own dynamic.
I can see the outsider appeal, but only
skin deep. Topical, without reason,
or rather its own iteration of reason.
But when an outsider breaches its shores
they have to play by a new set of rules
or be banished to the hellish inferno
that exists in ignorance and naivety.
Embrace what is there or perish,
because these people are cannibalistic
if you try and forge any opinion but their own.
It is a bubble, a place of safety to its citizens
a place of sanctity and solitude from an otherwise
uncertain world. I'm sorry, but I just think we come
from different worlds. I like uncertainty. I was raised
to learn how and take criticism, but ironically enough
that world is gone, a tumbleweed in place of the ideals
that once drove this place. Sorry for living the old way,
but it's what I know, it's what I know. We made me this way,
it's not solely your fault or mine, but don't try and pretend
that it didn't happen.

Epic Summer

This one goes out to all of my friends. You know who you are and I love you all.

A curious thing are the lives we live,
and what it means to share experience,
so as it goes, we find ourselves in each other.
On late night porches, polishing off bottles,
and time's arms tired from flying ever so,
the sun rises and sets, the East and West
a perpetual spotlight queuing another day
for us to fully take advantage.
I've traded my health, my sanity, and balance
for youth and memories which we're forming
never struggling, yet I won't soon let go
to what we are doing, what are we doing?
One day off, for six days on, that's the hard work
our parents instilled in us. So this is a toast,
to each and every one of you, to me, to us.
We've come this far and we aren't stopping now,
so let the glass remain always more than half full.
The best is yet to come.